More YOU

Happy Sunday All,

Earlier in the week I began to consider what `I should write about today.’ I began to think that as this would be my first communication of 2016 that it should be some deeply profound statement about the human condition or some revelatory insight that immediately resonates with hundreds of thousands of others across the globe.

It then occurred to me that those thoughts were profoundly arrogant of me. I am by no means a Guru, nor would I want to be one. I share because I believe wholeheartedly that as we walk this Earth we are here to

LEARN & CONNECT

skydiving-658404_1280This life we are experiencing is our University.

What I know too is that I have learned some lessons in my brief time here. I know also that my experience (s) are not unique; that others are experiencing some of the life stages, events and challenges I have already passed through and so I share them (connect) in whatever way I can.

I share more ME, so you can find more YOU

– Thank goodness for the Internet eh?

  1. I share in the hope that the lessons I have learned will bring comfort or insight or awareness or whatever it takes for just ONE person to realise their infinite beauty and potential and power.
  1. I share in the hope that just ONE of you to come to the realisation that your very ‘being’ means that you are perfectly who you should be and that who you are right here now, is exactly who you are meant to be and where you are meant to be.
  1. I share in the hope that just ONE of you understand that if your reality FEELS uncomfortable, undesirable or challenging then you have the power and the will and the right to change it, if that is what you want, at any time.

In search of MY-self

encourage-866765_1280One of the most painful periods of my life was the period from about 33 years old to about 45 years. This was the period when I had no option but to become a seeker; a seeker of my truth, a seeker of the ‘real’ me; a seeker of whatever this life is meant to mean.

Life and the pursuit of all the ‘right’ things still hadn’t placed me in a space of contentment or peace and I knew I had to find anther way of living, of expressing. I had to find a way to be the ‘true’ me. I had to find the answer to life, love and everything and what that means for me.

I can’t say I have found IT yet – a definitive, one phrase or one word answer or a definitive ‘way’ of being to explain the meaning of everything, I’m not sure there is ONE, but:

  • I HAVE come to understand that it’s all OK and if it isn’t, I have the right to change it. I have found a ‘tru-er’ me who I feel is on the right path to finding the kind of life and peace that is right for me.

So this is what I’d like to ask you to focus on.

This is my message to you at the start of 2016

My wish is for you to find:

THE TRUE YOU

From about 5 or 6 years of age to about 33 years I was blissful unaware that I was in pain. During that time; the time when I became aware of me as a distinct and separate ‘self’ to the time when I knew this way of thinking wasn’t working for me and that there ‘had to be more to life than this!’ was a time of sleepwalking. I was doing what I ‘thought’ were the right things to do to be happy, to have approval, to gain recognition. None of them had worked.

hands-423794_1280

 

And so the inevitable happened and I had to ask ‘Is there more to life than this?’ For me at that time, at 33 years old, the answer was ‘YES.’ And so I began to take steps to find out what that ‘YES’ meant for me.

Getting closer?

Over a decade later I know that happiness, contentment and peace come from being more YOU; from finding out what is true for YOU and living it, being it, feeling it teaching it, expressing it

Stepping up to life can be fearful...What's next?

Stepping up to life can be fearful…What’s next?

How the hell does one know what IS true? You ask.

Well, as I said before, all I can do is share what I have learnt in my time in this University and what I have learnt about finding out what is right for YOU is simple and is two-fold.

  1. You have the knowledge and the insights already you just need to tune into them
  2. They are indicated by how you feel – NOT what you think.

Any experience, any meeting of minds, any work or creative endeavour, any place or thought, any idea or book or insight; anything you undertake that makes you feel joy, expansion, stillness, that makes you laugh or cry with happiness, that creates a deeper compassion and love for yourself and/or                                                                                  others, that simply makes you smile…

Is a something or someone who will lead you to becoming more YOU and so to your truth.

Finding YOUR truth is where your happiness, your contentment and your bliss lay.

So if I have anything to impart for 2016, it would be to resolve to become more YOU.

Follow your bliss

Follow and seek expansion and feel good feelings, follow light and heat and rain and snow, if they are what make you feel good. Follow laughter and creativity or physics or road sweeping. Follow reading or children or whatever induces feelings within you of being more settled in your own skin… More YOU.

In so doing you find your way and step into the ‘MORE THAN THIS.’ You’re reaching for.

Blissings and much love

Insightful Angel

Be nice...Sharing is caring!

Self-Care

Happy Sunday All,

This week I’m afraid I’m a little under the weather to say the least. It’s late in the day and only now do I have the energy to put ‘fingers to keyboard’ so to speak. As I coughed and spluttered my way through the day I felt a moment of tremendous guilt as I hadn’t yet managed to write this weeks post.

This got me thinking about self-care

Self care means those individual choices we make about our lifestyle choices, on a daily basis that contribute to our long-term health and well-being. So choosing to brush your teeth daily or shower, to exercising or taking proper medicines when we are ill are all examples of self-care.

It is imperative that we take care of ourselves, especially if we have others that rely on us in some way or are dependent on us for their physical well-being, livelihood or other aspect of their life that they need us to supply for them.

2014-04-30 20.15.22It’s vital, no imperative that we allow ourselves the privilege of caring for ourselves first and before all else, especially at times when we are under the weather, otherwise what energy will we retain in order to look after those others if we don’t?

It’s been a challenging place to be in today as it brought up many feelings:

Guilt… because I felt I wasn’t upholding my promise to myself and to you to post weekly.

Fear… that those of you expecting communication for me would be disappointed and therefore abandon my writing in the future.

My ego took a bashing too as I realised:

  • I’m not invincible,
  • I’m fragile,
  • I’m like any other and can suffer weakness & feel vulnerable and

Most controversial for me;

  • I need support at times too.

In the spirit of self-care and after much soul-searching I decided I needed to rest and care for me today and not use my mental, emotional and physical energies writing and sharing today.

So, dear friends. This is as much as I can muster today, but I urge you surrender.

When the need for self-care arises please be kind to yourself because if you don’t who else will care for you enough so you can continue to be the magnificent being you are?

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

So, for today and the week beyond, all I can say is:

TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF YOURSELVES

and I will hopefully be back fighting fit agin next week.

Be nice...Sharing is caring!

Pissouri Pilgrimage 4 – Reflections

Pissouri – Cyprus

7th October 2015

16.54pm (local time) Wednesday

The Village & Reflections

Happy Sunday all,

mountains-691501_1280Today I managed to get to the hillside village of Pissouri which is distinct from the Bay.

My day started with a proper introduction to the vibrant Kate in the smoothie shop as I waited for a lift  from Catriona, who had generously offered to take me to the village bank as she had some deliveries.

Pissouri Village is located on what can only be told described as a ‘ Severely Steep Hillside.’

Trust me this village is truly ‘HILLSIDE.’

The journey up and I mean ‘UP’ to the village is a challenge even for the sturdiest of vehicles and as we climbed and climbed, I had visions of donkeys in ancient times sweating and panting as they hauled their impatient owners and produce from the village to the bay and back again.

The world’s smallest square

IMAG1349After the bank the walk round the village square took all of 8 minutes!

I received many (I’d like to think they were admiring glances), but mostly they were just curious, but there were many cheeky nudges and gummy grins from wizened and sunburnt old Cypriot gentlemen, who perched outside coffee shops and tavernas leaning on walking sticks.

I decided to wander farther afield.

Farther afield meant my saunter took all of 15 minutes…

Small place Pissouri Village.

Bingo?

Rounding one corner I hear a ‘honk, honk’ and Kate from the smoothie shop appears in her dinky little motor.

“What’re you doing here?’ she enquires. I explain I’m attempting to uncover the village and she assures me there really isn’t anymore to it than the square I already took 8 minutes to explore!

bingo-159974_1280“Fancy a game of bingo tomorrow?” She says and I, who have never played ‘Bingo’ in my life, find myself agreeing to sit with a group of British migrants to the Island in a remote Cypriot village, to engage in one of the UK’s most prosaic working class traditions!

But I’m open…should be fun?

Surreal… but fun.

Questions & Curiosity

Kathy tootles off in her little car and as I round the next corner I and have a lively & brief exchange with several younger Cypriot workers who were obviously curious…

  • What was my heritage?
  • Why I was in their little village?
  • Was I alone – WHY?
  • Who upset me back home?
  • What did I do?
  • Where was I from?

question-mark-460869_1280Their questions answered they suggested I teach In Cyprus as teachers ‘do no work here’ they told me gleefully. They even suggested a couple of schools and said I should definitely move here. Nice, to be wanted, eh?

Back in the village square, my stomach decided to remind me it was time for lunch. The lovely Monica serves me a delicious mushroom and Halloumi Omelette at the Platea tavern and I can’t help but feel just a little satisfied with life and extremely grateful for the one I have in that moment.

Maria, Maria

Maria is from Bulgaria and I marvel at how vibrant and friendly she is as she goes about her work. To be honest, down in the bay the waitresses have been somewhat stoney-faced and cold up until now. I ask her if she loves her work and she’s taken aback a little, but after some thought says, she does and I tell her it clearly shows.

Reflections

beautiful-16736_1920At the table next to me are a family from Barrow-in-Furness. I couldn’t have met lovelier people. Tina & Stewart are visiting their daughter stationed here in the British army. They are rightfully proud of who she is and what she has become.

We have a fabulous exchange and they seem fascinated and truly in awe of my work both as teacher and as an ‘Inspirationalist.’ I came to realise that I have never felt so happy to do or be ‘me’ and that they were reflecting back to me what my contentment and self-acceptance looked and felt like from inside me.

Just do YOU

hands-423794_1280I began to contemplate how no matter what we do or where we are, if we love who we are that’s all we ever need. Like Monica, who obviously loved who she is and all she does, she infuses her work with love; It’s not external approval, or validation, that makes us feel satisfied with ourselves and with life, it’s the Internal approval that gives us that.

Up in the village, I could have become insecure and paranoid because of the attention I had received, but as I was secure and very, very happy to ‘do’ me with no apology, then that shone out from me and was then reflected back by the nature & quality of the people I interact with.

All we are here to do is be ourselves.

Care for ourselves

Be ourselves

Accept ourselves.

It’s natural

sunflower-11574_1920We don’t ask the rain why it falls it just does…

Do we question why the sunflower is a sunflower, or chastise it for not being a rose?

We don’t ask mosquitoes why they bite (I damned well wish they wouldn’t); we may not like that they do, but they JUST DO it anyway.

In the same way, you must simply do YOU

Reflections II

macro-319237_1920We don’t become happy and contented and secure and then this energy is reflected in your outer world.  Like Monica we become that energy, emit it it an then this energy is reflected back to us.

I was feeling: contented and happy and in love with life. Secure in my skin and particularly grateful.

By being who and what I naturally felt I should be, I was able to create more of such feelings. The energy created attracts pleasurable exchanges and interactions. These is turn lead to experiencing  more of those same feelings. As I/we draw more of them towards us we create even more feelings of gratitude and contentment and so on…

When this energy reaches out and touches the people we interact with, they cannot help but reflect your self-acceptance and self-love back to you and if they don’t, you’re feeling so good it won’t affect you anyway!

Love & Blissings

Insightful Angel

Be nice...Sharing is caring!

Pissouri Pilgrimage 2 – Connections

Happy Sunday all,

If you’re reading this on Sunday then my scheduling has worked and though I’m in the Cumbrian Lakes I can still communicate with you. If not, then you’re reading it Tuesday when I return (hopefully).

This is day two of my Pissouri Pilgrimage as the day turned out it was all about connections.

Morning & Angels

miami-967985_1920The day started with lots of texts and messages from friends and family, which felt pretty great and reminded me that though I am here alone I am not HERE alone.

I re-assured those I love that I was safe and fine and basked in the lovely and genuine desire they had for me to relax and have a good time. It felt as though they, in some unspoken way felt I needed and deserved this time, even though I was fearful.

One very surprising and delightful thing happened this morning.

I’ve brought my Doreen Virtue Angel cards with me. They’ve become quite important to me recently, but I usually leave them at home after I’ve asked my question for the day, hoping to keep them as pristine as possible, so it’s unlike me to bring them out, let alone travel with them.

Well, I left them on the table on the terrace and went for a shower. There was a lilting soft breeze blowing as the sun began blinking itself awake. On my return from my shower one card had been flipped over…just one.

‘GUARDIAN ANGEL.’

You can imagine how emotional I became.

It took it as a reminder… a message to me and to all of us, that we are all connected. It doesn’t matter if you believe me. The connection we have to all things we can and can’t see just is.

If we open to the energies around us we are never truly alone and this is what we need to understand.

I closed my eyes and cried a little and said an almighty

‘Thank-You.’

The other cards I drew (they leapt out all five together and landed on the terrace) from the deck that morning were:cupid-846939_1920

  • Archangel Michael – to lessen my fear and protect me;
  • Support – to let me know that my guides were with me and to communicate with them about all and everything.
  • Music – to remind me to sing and that my singing is a source of beauty and comfort not just to me but to others.
  • Celebration – Telling me that by being grateful I have planted seeds that are coming to fruition. It was a gentle reminder that we are league of gardeners planting seeds along with our guides and the compost that feeds the dreams and wishes we plant is gratitude.
  • Freedom – Ooh this one is powerful, but one I often find a challenge to accept. This card served as a reminder to me and to all of us, that we always have the freedom to CHOOSE.

The present

fitness-332278_150This very moment, the one we are experiencing now, is the result of choices that we made in our thinking and our actions in the minutes, hours, days and weeks beforehand. This card will not let me or any of us escape from the responsibility that is ours when it comes to our circumstances. It reminds us too, that we have the FREEDOM to change our thoughts and our actions and produce another, a preferable outcome to the one we are currently experiencing if we are unhappy with it.

One thing we who live in the Northern hemisphere don’t do often enough is connect ourselves to the world. This it transpired would be the theme of my Monday.

‘Connection…’

Today my intuition (I resist using ‘voice,’ for fear that you’ll call me mad!) told me to take my angel cards with me to the beach?

Huh?!

Remember my glee at having found a vegan, raw food eatery? Well today was the day to check it out…

I was not disappointed

2013-07-23 20.15.30I met Mark and Karine, who started to place three seasons ago. They’re Belgian and couldn’t find what they wanted to eat, so as they liked Pissouri so much they, on a decisive whim decided to set up shop selling smoothies and vegan raw desserts…’Smoothies & Sweets.’

Another gentleman was propping up their bar eating a fruit sundae, who told me he’d lived here for 10 years now after coming over on a contract to do some technical work on one of the English bases and never returned. Clearly he loves it.

A green smoothie purchased for my breakfast & I walk to the beach; potato & beetroot crisps to nibble for later on; three connections made…

What had I been afraid of? Archangel Michael was doing his thing and giving me the courage to ask questions and make connections.

Beach time

Mid morning/early afternoon and I managed to get to the beach.

beach-388520_1280It’s a pebble beach with soft sand at the water’s edge. The first thing I just had to do was walk barefoot for some time on both pebbles and sand and feel the earth beneath me.

As I stood with my chin raised, my face towards the sun and my feet with my chunky toes digging into the hot sand, I felt so…just so…me and happy to be me…

Xanios, (I think he’s the island’s lothario – The ‘Costas’ to Pauline Collins’ ‘Shirley’) of course spotted me and bounced over for a quick chat. I was polite, but wanted to walk along the shore and really absorb the salty, tart smell of the sea and seaweed and the feel my cells plump themselves up and come alive, you know in that way that a sea breeze has of making you feel full from the inside out.

Several hours on one of Xanios’s loungers later (of course), several hours of people watching, of stillness and peace and a shade and a half darker and it was time to trek home…

Xanios very kindly let me off the €4 fee for the lounger and umbrella, for which I was of course very grateful. He insisted, “As it was my first time.” Bless him. Angels at work again methinks!

More connections:

Paul who made a point of telling me he does nothing and spends his time living off his millions (well, bully for you) but I actually didn’t ask and it would have been nice to know YOU and not the fact that you’re ‘minted’ before we’ve even said ‘hello’, but there you go!

we-566327_1280The little terrier, who’s name I can’t remember as they kept telling me his name was Paul and I got very confused and the young woman who works with Xanios on the beach & has a wicked sense of humour seemed to me to be joshing Paul, though he seemed oblivious to it.

On the way home I stopped for raw Apricot Cake.

What a delectable, mouth-watering, party-in-my-mouth that was!

Karine and I chatted, a connection getting deeper as we realised we had many lifestyle traits in common.

Angels 2

She openly revealed some concerns she was having in her life and I knew intuitively this was the moment to use my cards. I asked her to shuffle them, she didn’t think me weird or ‘off my rocker’ and she did as I asked.

angel-153935_150She at first drew two cards, yet my intuition said she needed three. I asked her if two felt the right number and she said “no, I think I need another one.”

Three cards drawn, three messages communicated, when I asked if they resonated or made sense, she said they did completely and that she understood the messages. She was so happy, she held both my hands in hers, looked me in the eyes and was rather tearful as she said ‘THANK YOU.’

Though I had been nervous about wandering into the day alone, I learnt that I am never really alone. I am as connected as I choose to be. I can accept or reject others attempts to connect with me; let my fear stop me from connecting with others, or I can reach out and simply say ‘hello,’ that choice is always mine to make.

Resistance

Do you resist opportunities for connection?

IMG_0330The next time fear arises, remember Archangel Michael… ask him to lesson your fear and ‘go for it.’ You never know just where that connection may lead and if it leads no-where maybe it’s just meant to be a pleasant reminder in that moment that we’re ok.

My day came to a close a couple of hours after the sun had set and the burnt orange orb had descended sleepily behind the chalky Pissouri hills.

8.38pm: early by most standards (and by mine) yet I was sleepy and sun-drunk…

Smiling I drifted to sleep wondering what tomorrow’s theme might be.

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

Be nice...Sharing is caring!

Trust

Pissouri Pilgrimage – Day 1

Cyprus

Sunday 4th October – 23.55 (local time)

I’m away as you can see…

greece-565926_1280For some strange reason I had a real feeling of trepidation about my journey and was almost in tears as I left this morning at 8am for my flight to Larnaca from Leeds & Bradford Airport. I had no idea why, I just felt so fearful; a complete feeling of dread was nestling in my chest and I nearly didn’t come. If it wasn’t for the fact that I would regret wasting the money spent and that I’ve had hassle changing bookings and etc. I think I may have chickened out.

But, I’m here now.

10 days…alone with myself abroad.

It’s quite daunting and I think this is what scared me, even though I have travelled alone before.

I did feel a little re-assured and calmed myself on the plane by playing with my angel cards, (I have brought them with me). Whether thy provide comfort or not I believe they do and so that’s all that matters.

Arrival

On the flight I sat next to Carol and her friend Margaret. Both phenomenal in their 70s (looking decades younger) and travelling to meet a friend who is very familiar with the island as she used to live here. They’ve both been before, but never alone and called me ‘brave.’ Hmmm… not sure I was feeling too brave at the time, but hey! I was still gripped by this in explainable fear, but you can’t exactly tell the pilot to turn around or stop the vehicle now can you?

Airport terminal and they were aghast that I had not sorted my onward journey and had no idea how I was going to get from Larnaca to Pissouri. It turned out to be quite simple. A bus from Larnaca to Limassol and then a taxi to Pissouri. The bus was only €9, a bit better than the £74 round trip it was going to cost for transfers when I tried sorting it from sunny Leeds!

buddha-709861_1280So there I am, pleased with myself that I’ve sorted the bus and I won’t have to spend a fortune and dip into an already sparse pocket. I have very little in the way of spending money due to Summer term work drying up sooner than I’d anticipated and I am still catching up with myself. I’m still panicky, so I remember to be grateful and tell myself I’m lucky to be where I am and to be having this experience. I focus on reminding myself that the universe will support me and that things will turn out OK…

I believe it (kind of), but I say it to myself none-the-less.

The girl done good…

superhero-534120_1280Well, just as this girl thought she’d done good, the bus driver says I have to get off at the first stop and get a taxi. Now when I bought the bus ticket the lady made it quite clear (she even circled it on the bus timetable she gave me), that I should get off at the second stop; St. George (a church – I get the impression there are quite a few churches here to say the least!)

Something tells me this is bit of a ‘swizz’ and the bus driver and taxi man are in cahoots, but I have no choice, my driver is going no further.

Pah!

€40…

YES,

€40 later I am at the apartment!

Don’t get me wrong, me and Mr. Taxi man had a lovely chat. It turns out his daughter is studying ‘Biomedical Science’ at Leeds University, Clever girl and a very small world indeed…

He has three children like me and like me has two girls and a boy. His son is just finishing school and will have to do National Service and daughter no. two they are trying to get a position within the navy or something as she tried studying in the UK as a make-up artist, but gave it up. I don’t think he was too impressed.

But, I’m at this point smarting from the realisation I may have been ‘HAD!’ and I’m seriously worried about how I’m going to survive.

This, I think was what my panic was about. I know how to penny pinch at home, but abroad when you need to pay for everything?

And who wants to feel restricted in such beauty? But then I tell myself I am as confined and restricted as I think I am.

Pushing through the fear

fear-617132_1280After orientating myself around the apartment, which is lovely by the way. Modern and very, very cleeeen! My kinda place. The lovely Theodora came up and introduced herself and gave me a bit of a run down. She’s from Eastern Europe, but says she likes the weather here.

A quick shower…

The panic rises again…

That first night out and dinner alone.

I talk myself down and take another couple of angel cards. Pretty Stupendous they are too: ‘Blessings,’ and ‘Archangel Michael.’

So off I pop, telling myself blessings are all around me, that Michael is with me and will take away my fear…

I’ve just returned from dinner (yes alone).

Halloumi, olives, pitta and hummus…delish! I DO love that cheese, and proper goat’s milk too, so no bilious belly and cramping later, but so very rich; I’m going to have to abstain and not indulge every day methinks.

People watching

photo-montage-556811_1280At dinner I people watched and gave thanks for the lovely food and the very handsome cats that hovered like vultures wanting anything that might fall from your table. I had visions of the god almighty bloody scrap that would ensue if all five (or was it six?) of them descended on some morsel I might drop and I was tempted to put it to the test, but declined.

After eating and feeling very satisfied and just whilst I was just taking in my surroundings, a gentleman started to eat the grapes that hung from the roof of the restaurant. I did for a moment think they were real, but there were so many and they seems so perfectly round and plum and juicy, I’d deduced they must be fake.

Xenios offered me some (at least he wasn’t called Costas – That was the taxi driver!) and I have to say they were delicious, though a tad dusty, but what’s a little dust between new acquaintances? We chatted and he seemed to know quite a few people…he is also, it seems rather accomplished as a businessman as he seems to run a lot of different enterprises. Anyway, no doubt I’ll bump into him again as he has a water-sports business on the beach.

Conversation over, I walked back to the apartment in that profound darkness that there always seems to be when you’re on holiday and marvelled at the fact that I could clearly see the constellations and I was so grateful for the lack of light pollution.

Trust

trust-482655_1280I decided to write up my day in a diary, but then realised that perhaps this trip will contain significant learning & insights that I can share, so here goes.

Today has been about trust:

Trusting that the ‘other’ source is there to support me and to support all of us.

Trusting myself and my instincts to get it right

  • I was tested and thrown into strange and unfamiliar situations and with people I did not know…
  • This frightened me.
  • I was tired and not wanting the challenge of having to do this all alone.
  • I had to rely on myself and more importantly, to trust that the universe would create the best outcomes for all concerned.

She did…but the outcome would have been very different I suspect if I’d gotten into panic and continued to have negative thoughts when my fear arose.

Like the boy in the Polar express I kept feeling my way when all I wanted to do was give up or turn around and go back.

  • I stayed in gratitude, trusting that I’d be OK…
  • I now believe I will be just that…OK.
  • I swallowed my fear and ventured out, when I wanted to stay in and hide and give myself the excuse that I’d just arrived and I could go out tomorrow.
  • Instead, I pushed through my panic and fear and…
  • I ate well
  • I made a connection

And the crème de la crème… I found a vegan raw food restaurant on the walk home…

Guess where I’ll be eating from now on?

Kale chips a plenty!

23.24 UK time and 1.24 Pissouri time. Time to sign off

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

Be nice...Sharing is caring!