Happy Mothering Sunday All,
At first I wasn’t going to be so cliché as to talk about motherhood. After all there will be a glut of missives and articles on the subject today. Then I realised I was ‘bucking the trend’ out of a wish to be different and not ‘do as others do.’ A rather pathetic reason for NOT doing anything I decided so here’s my take on and ‘Thank-You’ message to Mothers, those who are in the act of ‘mothering’ and an homage to the state of Motherhood.
Short…but I hope, SWEET
Today’s post will be a short one, for as a mother and grandmother I have more of it to get on with and like you want to really enjoy the legacy of my children & their children.
What does it mean?
Elizabeth Stone seems to quite succinctly express my sentiments on motherhood when she says:
“having a child is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
The thought that forever, my children have some of me my own cells, my DNA, (whether they like it or not), in their body…always is mind-blowing. To know that I carry pieces of them, for an eternity, inside me, wherever I go, is the warmest and most deeply connected feeling in the entire universe and when I look at my children, I know I did something good with my life.
Each experience of motherhood is unique to the individual, yet if you pay attention to the media and society’s expectations of mothers you’d think there was a set of ‘golden rules,’ a code for us all to follow and if we don’t we are subject to some appalling criticism.
So, for much of the time motherhood is fraught and tense. We have daily reminders of how our mothering impacts the life chances and futures of our children. Just last week, in the staffroom, (one of our colleagues is pregnant) we got to discussing how guilty we feel as mothers and no matter how we do it or what we do, it’s never enough or there’s something wrong.
Motherhood is feeling guilty much of the time and carrying a heavy burden of responsibility the rest of it.
There is the perpetual fear of ‘getting it wrong’ even though you know all you can do is:
‘the best you can do!’
From the heart
Motherhood for me has meant having my heart expand to it’s very limits and beyond. Expand to the point where I thought it might burst and yet somehow I found even more love, even more protective instinct, even more nurturing essence and even more strength than I could have ever imagined.
Motherhood means you’re in a constant state of surprise!
You are surprised by the number of times you are criticised and vilified, yet all every cell in your being wants to do is encircle the screaming demon who is spitting venom in your arms and love them and let them know it’s alright.
You are surprised by your resilience and strength and overwhelmingly raw, fierce “She-Bear” protective instinct. If you’ve seen the Leonardo Di Caprio film ‘The Revenant,’ then you know what I mean…it’s exactly like that! –
DON’T MESS WITH MY BABIES!
- You are completely taken aback by the fearlessness you find within you as you feign confidence because you know they depend on you and need to feel safe and protected, even though you’re scared stupid!
- You are amazed by your loving dedication and persistence as oftentimes you are overwhelmed exhausted & confused yet you get up and do it all over again the very next day
- You are surprised by your selflessness as you gently encourage them to experience the world and support them to independence even though the thought of it fills you with fear because you know how cruel and unforgiving ‘out there’ can be, but you do it because it’s best for them; even though your fiercest and most powerful instinct is to wrap them up safe and keep them close to you.
- You are awed by your selflessness, which seems to come so easily.
‘Willingly giving up the last piece of the pie even though you’re hungry.’
This is some of what motherhood means to me, I’m sure your experience is no less surprising and scary and beautiful. But, regardless of what our differences may be I know that we are is doing:
‘The most wonderfully Human thing we could possibly do.’
Thank you to all our Mothers!
Blissings & Much love!