Tag Archives: Fearless

Pissouri Pilgrimage 2 – Connections

Happy Sunday all,

If you’re reading this on Sunday then my scheduling has worked and though I’m in the Cumbrian Lakes I can still communicate with you. If not, then you’re reading it Tuesday when I return (hopefully).

This is day two of my Pissouri Pilgrimage as the day turned out it was all about connections.

Morning & Angels

miami-967985_1920The day started with lots of texts and messages from friends and family, which felt pretty great and reminded me that though I am here alone I am not HERE alone.

I re-assured those I love that I was safe and fine and basked in the lovely and genuine desire they had for me to relax and have a good time. It felt as though they, in some unspoken way felt I needed and deserved this time, even though I was fearful.

One very surprising and delightful thing happened this morning.

I’ve brought my Doreen Virtue Angel cards with me. They’ve become quite important to me recently, but I usually leave them at home after I’ve asked my question for the day, hoping to keep them as pristine as possible, so it’s unlike me to bring them out, let alone travel with them.

Well, I left them on the table on the terrace and went for a shower. There was a lilting soft breeze blowing as the sun began blinking itself awake. On my return from my shower one card had been flipped over…just one.

‘GUARDIAN ANGEL.’

You can imagine how emotional I became.

It took it as a reminder… a message to me and to all of us, that we are all connected. It doesn’t matter if you believe me. The connection we have to all things we can and can’t see just is.

If we open to the energies around us we are never truly alone and this is what we need to understand.

I closed my eyes and cried a little and said an almighty

‘Thank-You.’

The other cards I drew (they leapt out all five together and landed on the terrace) from the deck that morning were:cupid-846939_1920

  • Archangel Michael – to lessen my fear and protect me;
  • Support – to let me know that my guides were with me and to communicate with them about all and everything.
  • Music – to remind me to sing and that my singing is a source of beauty and comfort not just to me but to others.
  • Celebration – Telling me that by being grateful I have planted seeds that are coming to fruition. It was a gentle reminder that we are league of gardeners planting seeds along with our guides and the compost that feeds the dreams and wishes we plant is gratitude.
  • Freedom – Ooh this one is powerful, but one I often find a challenge to accept. This card served as a reminder to me and to all of us, that we always have the freedom to CHOOSE.

The present

fitness-332278_150This very moment, the one we are experiencing now, is the result of choices that we made in our thinking and our actions in the minutes, hours, days and weeks beforehand. This card will not let me or any of us escape from the responsibility that is ours when it comes to our circumstances. It reminds us too, that we have the FREEDOM to change our thoughts and our actions and produce another, a preferable outcome to the one we are currently experiencing if we are unhappy with it.

One thing we who live in the Northern hemisphere don’t do often enough is connect ourselves to the world. This it transpired would be the theme of my Monday.

‘Connection…’

Today my intuition (I resist using ‘voice,’ for fear that you’ll call me mad!) told me to take my angel cards with me to the beach?

Huh?!

Remember my glee at having found a vegan, raw food eatery? Well today was the day to check it out…

I was not disappointed

2013-07-23 20.15.30I met Mark and Karine, who started to place three seasons ago. They’re Belgian and couldn’t find what they wanted to eat, so as they liked Pissouri so much they, on a decisive whim decided to set up shop selling smoothies and vegan raw desserts…’Smoothies & Sweets.’

Another gentleman was propping up their bar eating a fruit sundae, who told me he’d lived here for 10 years now after coming over on a contract to do some technical work on one of the English bases and never returned. Clearly he loves it.

A green smoothie purchased for my breakfast & I walk to the beach; potato & beetroot crisps to nibble for later on; three connections made…

What had I been afraid of? Archangel Michael was doing his thing and giving me the courage to ask questions and make connections.

Beach time

Mid morning/early afternoon and I managed to get to the beach.

beach-388520_1280It’s a pebble beach with soft sand at the water’s edge. The first thing I just had to do was walk barefoot for some time on both pebbles and sand and feel the earth beneath me.

As I stood with my chin raised, my face towards the sun and my feet with my chunky toes digging into the hot sand, I felt so…just so…me and happy to be me…

Xanios, (I think he’s the island’s lothario – The ‘Costas’ to Pauline Collins’ ‘Shirley’) of course spotted me and bounced over for a quick chat. I was polite, but wanted to walk along the shore and really absorb the salty, tart smell of the sea and seaweed and the feel my cells plump themselves up and come alive, you know in that way that a sea breeze has of making you feel full from the inside out.

Several hours on one of Xanios’s loungers later (of course), several hours of people watching, of stillness and peace and a shade and a half darker and it was time to trek home…

Xanios very kindly let me off the €4 fee for the lounger and umbrella, for which I was of course very grateful. He insisted, “As it was my first time.” Bless him. Angels at work again methinks!

More connections:

Paul who made a point of telling me he does nothing and spends his time living off his millions (well, bully for you) but I actually didn’t ask and it would have been nice to know YOU and not the fact that you’re ‘minted’ before we’ve even said ‘hello’, but there you go!

we-566327_1280The little terrier, who’s name I can’t remember as they kept telling me his name was Paul and I got very confused and the young woman who works with Xanios on the beach & has a wicked sense of humour seemed to me to be joshing Paul, though he seemed oblivious to it.

On the way home I stopped for raw Apricot Cake.

What a delectable, mouth-watering, party-in-my-mouth that was!

Karine and I chatted, a connection getting deeper as we realised we had many lifestyle traits in common.

Angels 2

She openly revealed some concerns she was having in her life and I knew intuitively this was the moment to use my cards. I asked her to shuffle them, she didn’t think me weird or ‘off my rocker’ and she did as I asked.

angel-153935_150She at first drew two cards, yet my intuition said she needed three. I asked her if two felt the right number and she said “no, I think I need another one.”

Three cards drawn, three messages communicated, when I asked if they resonated or made sense, she said they did completely and that she understood the messages. She was so happy, she held both my hands in hers, looked me in the eyes and was rather tearful as she said ‘THANK YOU.’

Though I had been nervous about wandering into the day alone, I learnt that I am never really alone. I am as connected as I choose to be. I can accept or reject others attempts to connect with me; let my fear stop me from connecting with others, or I can reach out and simply say ‘hello,’ that choice is always mine to make.

Resistance

Do you resist opportunities for connection?

IMG_0330The next time fear arises, remember Archangel Michael… ask him to lesson your fear and ‘go for it.’ You never know just where that connection may lead and if it leads no-where maybe it’s just meant to be a pleasant reminder in that moment that we’re ok.

My day came to a close a couple of hours after the sun had set and the burnt orange orb had descended sleepily behind the chalky Pissouri hills.

8.38pm: early by most standards (and by mine) yet I was sleepy and sun-drunk…

Smiling I drifted to sleep wondering what tomorrow’s theme might be.

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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Pissouri Pilgrimage No. 1

Happy Sunday all

greece-565926_1280Here’s the first instalment of my ‘Pissouri Pilgrimage’ posts. There was some learning and there was some insight, so for the next few weeks I’ll share them here with you.? My hope is that they help you in some way by shining a light on your thoughts about yourself or life, or give hope if you’re feeling less than confident. Maybe they will confirm for you how amazing life is!

4th October 2015

Pissouri – Cyprus 23.55 (local time)

Trepidation

I’m away as you can see.

cute-18833_1280For some strange reason I had a real feeling of trepidation about travelling and was almost in tears as I left this morning at 8am for my flight to Larnaca from Leeds & Bradford Airport. I had no idea why, I just felt so fearful; a complete feeling of dread was nestling in my chest and I nearly didn’t come. If it wasn’t for the fact that I would regret wasting the money spent and that I’ve had hassle changing bookings and etc. I think I may have ‘chickened’ out.

But, I’m here now.

10 days…alone with myself abroad.

It’s quite daunting and I think this is what made the fear rise up in me, even though I have travelled alone before, but that was some time ago.

I managed to re-assure and calm myself on the plane by playing with my angel cards, (I have brought them with me). Whether they provide comfort or not I believe they do and so that’s all that matters.

aircraft-479772_1280On the flight I sat next to Carol and her friend Margaret. Both phenomenal in their 70s (looking decades younger) and travelling to meet a friend who is very familiar with the island as she used to live here. They’ve both been before, but never alone and called me ‘brave.’ Hmmm… not sure I was feeling too brave at the time, but hey! I was still gripped by this in explainable fear, but you can’t exactly tell the pilot to turn around or stop the vehicle now can you?

Through someone else’s eyes

Airport terminal and they were aghast that I had not sorted my onward journey and had no idea how I was going to get from Larnaca to Pissouri. It turned out to be quite simple. A bus from Larnaca to Limassol and then a taxi to Pissouri. The bus was only €9, a bit better than the £74 round trip it was going to cost for transfers when I tried sorting it from sunny Leeds!

So there I am, pleased with myself that I’ve sorted the bus and I won’t have to spend a fortune and dip into an already sparse pocket. I’m still panicky, so I remember to be grateful and tell myself I’m lucky to be where I am and to be having this experience. I focus on reminding myself that the universe will support me and that things will turn out OK…

I believe it (kind of), but I say it to myself none-the-less.

woman-41891_1280It’s funny how we see ourselves differently to others. They saw a brave woman, going it alone, but because I was on the inside of me I focused on the nervousness I was feeling. Yet they would never have done what I did and would rather have lost the money they spent.

Sometimes it does you good to listen and see yourself through other’s eyes. You may just be surprised by what you discover.

Taxi ride

Well, just as this girl thought she’d done ‘good,’ the bus driver says I have to get off at the first stop and get a taxi. Now when I bought the bus ticket the woman made it quite clear (she even circled it on the bus timetable she gave me), that I should get off at the second stop; St. George (a church – I get the impression there are a few churches here, to say the least!)

baby-216876_1280Something tells me this is bit of a ‘swizz’ and the bus driver and taxi man are in cahoots, but I have no choice, my driver is going no further.

Pah!

€40…YES €40 later I am at the apartment.

Don’t get me wrong, me and Mr. Taxi man had a lovely chat. It turns out his daughter is studying ‘Biomedical Science’ at Leeds University, Yes, my hoe City – Clever girl!

What a very small world indeed…

He has three children like me and like me has two girls and a boy. His son is just finishing school and will have to do National Service and daughter no. two they are trying to get a position within the navy or something as she tried studying in the UK as a make-up artist, but gave it up. I don’t think he was too impressed.

i-105490_150The conversation sounded all too familiar and you realise that no matter where you go, people are all the sam. The same wants and dreams, the same concerns and issues. The language and the customs and the faiths and the cultures are wonderful manifestations of our uniqueness, yet below the surface there’s the universal experience of life that connects us to each other.

Underneath it all we are ONE…

I’m reassured.

Fleeced?!

But, I’m at this point smarting from the realisation I may have been ‘HAD!’ and I’m seriously worried about how I’m going to survive here.

pound-414418_1280This, I think was what my panic was about. I know how to penny pinch at home, but abroad?

And who wants to feel restricted in such beauty? But then I tell myself I am as confined and restricted as I think I am.

After orienting myself around the apartment, which is lovely by the way. Modern and very, very cleeeen! My kinda place. The lovely Theodora came up and introduced herself and gave me a bit of a run down. She’s from Eastern Europe, but says she likes the weather here.

A quick shower…

The panic rises again…

That first night out and dinner alone.

I talk myself down and take another couple of angel cards. Pretty Stupendous they are too: ‘Blessings,’ and ‘Archangel Michael.’

So off I pop, telling myself blessings are all around me, that Michael is with me and will take away my fear…

Dinner

I’ve just returned from dinner (yes alone).

greek-salad-689674_1280Halloumi, olives, pitta and hummus…delish! I DO love that cheese, and proper goat’s milk too, so no bilious belly and cramping later, but so very rich; I’m going to have to abstain and not indulge every day methinks.

At dinner I people watched and gave thanks for the lovely food and the very handsome cats that hovered like vultures wanting anything that might fall from your table. I had visions of the god almighty bloody scrap that would ensue if all five (or was it six?) of them descended on some morsel I might drop and I’m to put it to the test, but declined.

Being open to connection

psychology-789612_1280After eating and feeling very satisfied and just whilst I was just taking in my surroundings, a gentleman started to eat the grapes that hung from the roof of the restaurant. I did for a moment think they were real, but there were so many and they seems so perfectly round and plum and juicy, I’d deduced they’re fake.

Xenios offered me some (at least he wasn’t called Costas – That was the taxi driver!) and I have to say they were delicious, though a tad dusty, but what’s a little dust between new acquaintances? We chatted and he seemed to know quite a few people…he is also, it seems rather accomplished as a businessman as he seems to run a lot of different enterprises. Anyway, no doubt I’ll bump into him again as he has a water-sports business on the beach.

Reaching out

girl-843076_1280Conversation over, I walked back to the apartment in that profound darkness that there always seems to be when you’re on holiday and marvelled at the fact that I could clearly see the constellations and I was so grateful for the lack of light pollution. I mused how we can only connect if we are open to it. If I’d been fearful or resistant Xenios would not have approached me. Sure he probably does it with everyone, but for me alone, it was a welcome distraction from my nervousness and fear.

In what way could you connect? you could be the person who relieves a moment of anxiety for someone else. so consider the next time you pull back from reaching out due to your own nervousness or fears.

A decision

I decided to write-up my day in a diary, but then realised that perhaps this trip will contain significant learning & insights that I can share, so here goes.

Today has been about trust:

  • Trusting that the ‘other’ source is there to support me and to support all of us.
  • Trusting myself and my instincts to get it right
  • I was tested and thrown into strange and unfamiliar situations and with people I did not know…
  • This frightened me.
  • I was tired and not wanting the challenge of having to do this all alone.
  • I had to rely on myself and more importantly, to trust that the universe would create the best outcomes for all concerned.sueaking-482701_1280

She did…but the outcome would have been very different I suspect if I’d gotten into panic and continued to have negative thoughts when my fear arose.

Like the boy in the Polar express I kept feeling my way when all I wanted to do was give up or turn around and go back.

I stayed in gratitude, trusting that I’d be OK…

I now believe I will be just that…OK.

I swallowed my fear and ventured out, when I wanted to stay in and hide and give myself the excuse that I’d just arrived and I could go out tomorrow.

Instead, I pushed through my panic and fear and…

I ate well

I made a connection

And the crème de la crème… I found a vegan raw food restaurant on the walk home…

Guess where I’ll be eating from now on?

Kale chips a plenty!

23.24 UK time: 1.24 Pissouri time. Time to sign off

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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Love & Fear

Happy Sunday everyone,

Today’s post will start in a somewhat creative mode. I was flicking through one of my many journals – (I am an occasional and inconsistent journal writer) and I came upon this poem or song I guess you’d call it. I named it ‘BREATHE’ball-393834_150

BREATHE

1

What happens when there’s no plan ‘B?’ When life lands a punch, so strong you can’t breathe?

What happens when you’re naked and alone, too scared to stand still, but afraid to walk on?

CHORUS/REFRAIN

When the pieces of the jigsaw fail to fit, when we fail to trust, force the edges in. In that very moment, ego’s fire, kills the Alchemist within.

2

Hold tight to yourself, breathe, don’t let yourself go, trust your life’s right, (just) let your spirit flow

The clouds weep in blue and the Earth’s wind blows cold. I pray SO hard to take my place, feeling tired, feeling old

CHORUS

When the pieces of the jigsaw fail to fit, when we fail to trust, force the edges in. In that very moment, ego’s fire, kills the Alchemist within.

The song appears between entries and notes dated 2002 and 2003 and what struck me about it was that I seemed to have encapsulated a couple of the main things that prevent us as spirit beings from identifying and achieving contentment, standing in our power and enacting our true purpose in this life. IMG_0412Namely FEAR and MISTRUST.

Osho says:

‘Fear is nothing but the absence of love. Do something with love, forget about fear. If you love well, fear disappears.’

Today I’m going to talk a bit about LOVE & FEAR.

sad-72216_150The debilitating result of fear

I have spent much of my life in fear. As a child I quickly learnt to fear my own power and magnificence. All my singing, speaking, opinions, laughter, successes inquisitiveness and loving actions seemed to be criticised. As a result, I spent much of my time feeling ‘wrong’ or ‘too much.’ I’m sure many of you have similar memories of childhood?

As such I learnt very early on to make myself small, to shrink and not upset or embarrass others or myself by being too excited or free. This then became a lifelong practise, perhaps this is the case for you too? Until I found myself, as the song says, unable to ‘breathe.’

Through this lifelong practise of rejecting our joy we become insecure and unsure and so in adulthood we are fearful. We no longer have a clear of what is our authentic self and so conform to what society says we should do/be/say.

Crippled, limping and alone

When we’re in fear our intuitive senses become blocked. When we are blocked it’s as if we are crippled in some way. Our intuition is overtaken by our ego, the voice that is in constant need for external approval, the voice that has complete belief in the world of the material, the world we’re taught is the one that really matters.

beggars-62851_150We’re still walking, you understand, but our gait isn’t straight nor is it sure-footed and every so often we go over on our ankle and the pain is excruciating!

In this world there is fear.

Fear is the absence of love. The absence of love creates Division: ‘Otherness,’  Division and ‘Otherness’ lead to Self-Protection, Self-Protection shuts us off (from ourselves, from others and the world) Shutting out means you’re alone…

Alone = Loneliness – Isolation – Disconnection

A state of feeling no contact with existence.thinking-236770_150

We’re crippled…limping, disconnected, discontented and alone!

The search for love

africa-17344_150Our intuition is the way God/Higher Power/Source/Allah/Jah/Yahweh/Universe speaks to and guides us. You access your intuition by allowing yourself to love.

For most of us to live purposefully we adopt a belief system of some kind, a connection to an external source to anchor us as we navigate through life and find our purpose, for we ALL have a purpose.

What we are really doing is looking for love and rightly so. It is in love that fear is driven out. If you’ve ever been in love, or if you have children, you know that in love, when you give it unconditionally and not in the form of some contract, you do not feel fear.

Love: Then you become fearless!

When you are fearless you neither create fear in others nor allow it to be created in you. You understand that love is of itself beneficial, so there is no need for conditions or contracts so you have no need for a return.

demon-201439_150Just by loving you grow in fearlessness and joy and so come to love just for the joy of it!

In loving you are more open to and more likely to hear the voice of whichever external power you subscribe to and in the listening you come to understand your purpose.

Why am I here?

love-229977_150It is only when we are fulfilling this purpose that we feel peace, feel fulfilled and to feel complete love and acceptance of ourselves and of others.

For many of us the search for that purpose and peace is elusive and we frantically  scrabble around for the answers to our existence; flip-flopping from one job to the next, adrenaline fuelled activities, drugs, alcohol, one relationship to the next vainly seeking, becoming despondent and wondering what the meaning of all this is anyway?

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Have you ever done something, created something, helped someone, come up with an idea for something, answered a question you didn’t think you knew the answer to, overcome a fear, large or small and felt a profound feeling of just ‘completeness.’ A feeling that ‘THIS IS WHO I AM.’ as sense of acceptance and belonging.

As if the sun was shining just on YOU in that moment and  that you can do or be ANYTHING? It’s in those moments, that we are given the clues…the breadcrumbs in the forest that will lead us to our purpose in life.

person-110305_150What we are meant to do is ‘FOLLOW THE FEELING!’

 To create and seek out more situations and opportunities that re-create that feeling until it increases and increases and we are completely enveloped in ‘I AM.’

Increases and increases until we are FEARLESS and stand firmly, magnificently in the centre of the true essence of our being.

However, I’m sure you, like me will recognise what happens then. We can become afraid.

This feels ‘TOO’ good, we feel too powerful, too talented, too special and HOW DARE WE?

This is sacrilege.

Isn’t it?

lady-36446_150Who are we to feel god-like? and so we shrink… We go back to the familiar feelings of fear and mistrust. We’re safe with them. With them we don’t stand out, we don’t rock the boat. With them we are acceptable.

If I can get across ONE thing to you, beautiful readers today, it’s that we are here to be MAGNIFICENT. That every moment of everyday should feel awesome.

We are meant to live ‘Fearlessly’

Take it to heart, act on it.

Love: Yourself & others…

Love: Openly & unconditionally…

Follow those positive feelings to your BLISS and be in love with you…

IN LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE!

Blessings!

Insightful Angel

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