Tag Archives: Embrace

Light & Beauty

Happy Sunday all,

I came to Sunday rather worn out after an afternoon trekking the shops of Leeds City centre yesterday afternoon. So you find me today, still rather weary after chores of washing the week’s laundry, cleaning the kitchen bin, sorting the recycling and cooking a very delicious Vegan meal – Sometimes I outdo myself I swear!

Well, as you gathered the a.m. and afternoon & early evening have been rather leisurely this Sunday, but I am now rejuvenated and ready, so here are my ramblings for this week. I hope you enjoy them, but more importantly I hope you find here insights within it that go some way to improve your life.

The presence of Beauty

roses-66527_1280You probably do not know, but I tend to reflect on my week and then decide what the ‘theme’ has been. If I can then offer any words of wisdom on that theme or idea, I will then take to my laptop and ‘hey presto’ another message is penned and ‘Yes,’ I do get up and write them on Sundays. I don’t queue them up and have the computer automatically send them on a particular date, though it would make life easier for me if I did.

Anyway, back to the purpose of today. The theme that seems to have been prevalent this week is ‘Beauty.’

A Surprise for the year 10 Bandits

You all already know I teach and as such I come into contact with children of all shapes, forms, temperaments, dispositions and character. Earlier this week a female student of mine was surprised when I agreed to an after-school session to help them with some coursework.

Now, just a bit of context. This Year 10 group are small, but notorious in the school. They include four pupils (out of 14) who are constantly in trouble. Two in particular, if they haven’t been excluded are usually on some form of report or other for their behaviour.

This group has gnawed at me, niggled and taunted me. They have insulted me, disrupted lesson after lesson, and taken me to the very ‘end of my tether,’ yet I refused to give up on them.

Ayesha’s Surprise

So Ayesha was surprised, no shocked when I agreed to give them the extra help and said incredulously:baby-216876_1280

“Even me! But you hate me!”

I could have fallen over!

“Ayesha,” I said, “ I have never in my decade of teaching met a child that I didn’t like.”

“Not even me, after everything?” she continued.

Well, that was my cue for another one of my ‘put your pens down and listen,’ leap-onto-my-soapbox moments.

I made to clear to her that of course I challenged her, but it was her behaviour that I resisted, not her. I asked her if she understood that who she is, in her essence, her being, is not the same as how she ‘CHOOSES’ (and it is a choice) to behave.

I think she got it…

Light & Beauty & more beauty

Later in the week, Thursday to be precise, I was talking to a friend and during the conversation I mentioned how much I adore being around the pupils I teach; how they are “So full of light, & beauty but they don’t know it.”

Don’t worry; there is a point to all of this…

jyoti-amgeLast night, I came across an article on Jyoti Amge, (see image left), who according to the Guinness book of records, is the smallest woman in the world. She reminded me of the lovely Muhammed who I taught up until last week.

He, like Jyoti has a form of dwarfism (which appears very similar to hers) and stands about 2ft and a bit in height, yet he’s 12 years old. I wondered what it’s  like to spend your life literally ‘looking up.’ to everyone you meet and staring at thighs and kneecaps when you’re in a crowd.

As I saw him chatting to other pupils on the corridor and shouting ‘hi’ as he delights everyone he meets It occurred to me; he is unusual yes, but beautiful, ordinary, he is Muhammed and he is completely at peace with who he is and that is as it should be. It occurred to me that many of us should do as Muhammad does and just be ourselves.

Accept YOUR beauty…

Completely.

It’s in ALL of us…not just SOME of us

Then today, during another conversation, I happened to say to another friend during an online chat, that:

“The longer I am on this earth the more I more I appreciate the beauty in all of us.”

 Why is it then that like Ayesha we often cannot see the beauty that lies in us all?”

social-media-550766_1280Whether you’re like Jyoti or Muhammed or Erika Ervin, the world’s tallest woman (6ft 8inches), whether you’re Ayesha, a confused teenager, searching for self acceptance, purpose and love or whether you’re just YOU, what I’d like you to see and really understand, that what I have learnt in my time here is:

  1. You are beautiful.

  2. We are ALL beautiful.

  3. We are ALL a true reflection of the life’s beauty and the beauty everywhere on this Earth.

In the same way that I have always seen beauty in my pupils, despite what they feel, despite what they fail to see in themselves, what I hope you really get is that someone somewhere is looking at you with love or admiration or respect or all three!

My challenge to you this week is to see your own light, your own beauty.

Truly see it

See it now

Relish it,

Celebrate it regardless of any external reflection or approval.

When you DO, you will truly start to live free from the need for acceptance.

Realise that your life is yours and you will encounter life in ease or resistance according to what you think about yourself and through the relationship you have with yourself.

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

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Trust the Process – “Let it go…”

Happy Sunday All,

“Let it go…the cold never bothered me anyway!”

Is The Greatest Disney song ever!

It’s official.

winter-343565_1280Now usually I’m very sceptical of Disney and the thinly disguised misogyny and sexism that ooze like a caramel centre through many of their fairy-tale offerings; missives that entice & mesmerise children and adults alike.

And who can blame us?

They are pretty irresistible.

I haven’t been infected by “Frozenmania” yet. Perhaps because my children are now grown up, maybe I’ve just become more cynical in my middle years? However, as I caught the tail end of ‘Disney’s greatest songs ever’ It occurred to me that the film is a powerful metaphor.

A metaphor for finding our personal truth and accepting ourselves;

Exactly as we are

Fearlessly…

Unapologetically…

Authentically.

baby-71614_1280Into hiding…

After she accidentally hurts her sister, Elsa is made to believe (by fearful parents and advisors), that she should fear herself:

“Conceal it don’t feel it…don’t let it show.” Is what they say to her.

How many of us have been the recipients of such advice and all too often when we are very young. Told overtly and subtly that we are not OK. Often the very thing that is our essence and our passion is the one thing we are good-naturedly advised to contain or ‘not let show’

  • It could be we are kind-hearted – we’re told we’re too soft, the world is ‘just not like that!
  • It could be we are communicators – we are told to be quiet… we talk too much!
  • It could be that we’re great visionaries – we’re told to be sensible… how can YOU do that…people like us…

I think you get the picture.

The very qualities that make Elsa who she is and are actually her gifts, the authentic face that she should be unafraid to show to the world, the talents she should be able to nurture, express and to lovingly present proudly to the world, she is instead made to fear.

“Fear is your greatest enemy.”

self-doubt-424968_1280Never a truer word spoken, but all too often, just like poor Elsa it is the fear of others and their potential criticism that we fear. That very fear then causes insecurity and tension and in this state of tension that Elsa accidentally hurts the one person she loves most… her sister.

Her not knowing how to relax into herself and be confident hurts her too. As a result, she believes she has to give up the one person who loves & accepts her unconditionally.

She now thinks she is evil… thinks that what is natural to her is odious to everyone else and decides she has no choice but to hide away.

This fear has now become a belief.

But, it is her fear of herself that creates the problem for our princess. Her fear of ‘letting go,’ and allowing her nature to show itself that Disney shows us is the path to destruction.

The past is the past… Are you still hiding?

Are you one of the many who still hold vivid images or visions of what you are or want for your life yet are still too afraid of ‘opinion.’ Or too used to ‘hiding’ that you are in a constant state of unease…as if the life you’re in doesn’t QUITE fit…like a gift box that’s just a tad small, you know you squeezed yourself into one or two of the corners and there’s just a pinch

let-go-594531_1280In hiding however, Elsa is able to relax. She finds the space to accept herself; she finds the courage to step into her truth.…albeit a space that she believes she has to be alone in (see she is still fearful that she will not be accepted by others especially now she is OWNING her truth), but when she announces…

“I’m never going back, the past is in the past… Let it go, Let it go and I’ll rise like the break of dawn.” –

Boy does she rise…She is transformed.

She emerges beautiful…fully realised strutting her stuff in all her power and all in a cracking Crystal frock too!

Elsa-Frozen

This is perhaps the greatest lesson of all: the lesson that whatever happened, whomever we thought we were, whatever actions we took before this very moment live permanently in the past. There is no changing them, so accept them and learn for them so you make choices that are more fitting with the new YOU…

“Where your focus goes grows!”

Those who know me know I say this often. The point is if we are constantly focused on the past we stand still.

2014-08-24 08.43.36The past is retrospective, there is no forward motion when we look behind. You also tend to walk into lampposts if you’re looking behind yourself which leads cuts and bruises!

When we focus on the past we fail over and over again to let go of the very things we say we want to be rid of because guess what? We’re focusing on the very things we don’t want, the very things we should leave exactly where they live – in the past.

Instead of a forward motion our focus is on the things that went wrong, the things that we no longer have, so we are creating a perpetual state of things we don’t have, things we don’t want.

“Alone…where I can be who I am without hurting anybody.”umbrella-170962_150

So, she’s unapologetic…she’s found her voice and is strutting her stuff. Perhaps you too have found your voice and like Elsa you’ve got your Mojo working, but our princess still has a challenge.

It’s easy to think that once we have discovered who we are that this new you can only survive in a space ‘away’ form all that we knew, that we have to hide or run away to find acceptance of this ‘true self’ and to think that perhaps those who knew us as we were will be unable to accept the NEW us, and reject us.

Courage: Make no apologybear-656435_1280

My question is: Why should we care?

I mean seriously!

True courage is found the moment you stop apologising.

It’s only when Elsa Fully accepts herself and makes no apology whatsoever for who she is, to ANYONE, when she accepts and embraces her talents regardless of the opinions of others, allows her gifts and the beauty in them into the light and among others, including those who were a part of the world where she learnt to ‘not let it show,’ that she is at her most alluring, her most captivating, her most powerful and receives the most love.

And guess what? Don’t those gifts end up being a wonderful support to the community that she thought would reject her!

maple-leaf-638022_1280Take a leaf…

We would do well to enthusiastically rip a leaf form the book of Elsa and ‘Step up, Step out and Stand tall!’ put on your own Crystal frock and ‘Work it!’

You see when we learn to breathe and truly ‘settle’ into the truth of who are. When we find the courage to accept our path then we ARE transformed and we wonder why we restricted our thinking, our actions and shielded others from our talents in the first place.

When you find the courage to be you… regardless of family, friends, the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘ought tos’ and you allow yourself to be the YOU you came here to be that’s when the magic happens.

When you find yourself allowing it’s as if you’re on a conveyor and all the struggle and stress seems to dissipate as the people and opportunities you need seem to just show up!

Just like a Disney movie, your life too will seem as if it’s rolling itself out to the final thrill of YOUR OWN

Happy Ending!

 Blissings and Much Love

Insightful Angel 

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When things fall apart

Happy Sunday,

Yesterday I broke.

self-doubt-424968_1280I literally fell apart. I was in bits…I crashed to the floor into a million shiny pieces and had no idea how to glue myself back together.

“Things fall apart” is a book by Chinua Achebe and concerns the issues face by a controlling, dominant man who has a strict idea of what it means to be a man. The reality is he has no control over anything save his own words and actions. The lesson I took from that is that in life one has to yield…When we are rigid and insist we know it all life more than often throws you a curve ball just as a reminder.  The only thing you can do in that instance is decide:

‘WHO’ do I choose to be in response to this event/situation, who am I going to be right now?’

I am undone…

mourning-360500_150I had been given some devastating news, news which sent me into a tailspin, news which changed what I knew as truth and turned it upside down. It kicked me HARD in the gut. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t DO anything. I knew this could be the undoing of me and I had no idea how to hold myself together.

I was numb…

I felt if I moved or thought, or anything I would never be able to recover myself and after all the things I’ve had to pick myself up from this was the one that would be the undoing of me.

I did nothing…Literally nothing.

Then the stillness came

bank-340779_150So I was just still…No blinking, I don’t recall any breathing (though there must have been some as I’m still here) I clenched and held on tight. There were no tears, no noise, no emotion, no thought whatsoever and I was terrified. I have never been in a space of absolutely no reaction whatsoever before, but I knew there was nothing else.

My mind and body took over.

For nearly three hours I was like this…fortunately I had received the devastating news at precisely 3.25am (funny how you recall minute detail in a crisis) It’s as if everything becomes heightened and you’re sharper in a weird, floaty, other-worldy kind of way.

At 6.15am my mind kicked in and reminded me from somewhere in my subconscious that I have day two of a fantastic Coaching Training course to attend and I needed to DO SOMETHING!

Autopilot

portrait-317041_640I don’t really recall getting ready, I must have drifted in and out of…not consciousness, but more an awareness of reality as my next memory was walking into the city centre to the hotel where the event was being held. As I walked I heard a voice inside, a voice which obviously had some fight in her… a determined self-preservation saying…

‘Come on! don’t break, Step towards your life…you have a life to live!’

It was like a mantra and propelled me towards the hotel. I was still holding on all the way, the tension was there. Before I knew it I was at the entrance and jolted back into reality. When I saw my new-found friends from the programme a part of me felt as if it had come back to itself. I did the usual exchanging of pleasantries and began to feel a little better.

But I was still holding…

The pressure was building, but if there’s one thing I am good at it’s pushing those feelings down and not letting them control me…I’ve had a lot of practise when it comes to picking myself up and getting on with it! It’s a challenging path…It’s a lonely one, there have been times when I really didn’t think I could make it one more day, times when I  have been spent and had no idea how or where to find the courage and strength to do what I had to…

I have been deep, but usually there’s no-one there and so I learnt to ‘get on with it,’ and break down in private. Little did I know the universe would take me even deeper and expose me. My worst night mare come true.

There was a huge knot in my gut…and a constriction of my throat. I knew It would be impossible for me to eat.

Vesuvius! – Explode…Expose…Exhalevolcanic-eruption-67668_1280

The room was warm.

It got warmer and warmer, the facilitator was explaining the first task. My mind was grateful. Good I get to practise my coaching and get some feedback. And then it happened. The dam broke!

Overwhelm followed. The feelings I had repressed all morning, the control I’d wrestled to keep a hold of weakened…I weakened and the flood commenced.

I held my nose, I gritted my teeth, I clenched my fists and nothing was able to get me back to my equilibrium. I had not choice but to just let it out. I had to leave the room. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I’d let myself down. I’m supposed to be able to deal with anything. I’m the ‘strong one! for god’s sake!’

The wonderful Claire, who was sitting opposite me and who was my partner in the exercise followed me outside and did…

NOTHING!

It was just what I needed her to do…

Surrendersad-girl-236769_150

In that moment I gave in…

I surrendered.

I surrendered to the agony and the pain and the loss and when all I could do was sob and mourn and wail and sob some more and shake and cry, I learnt several lessons in that moment:

  1. My/our feelings are nothing I need to feel ashamed of.
  2. They’re mine/ours and they’re OK
  3. They are there to guide us and they are there to support our spiritual and emotional health. It’s OK to feel… It’s OK to let the flow happen.
  4. When I dive into my feelings…really let myself be immersed in them I come through the other side lighter and wiser and freer. There’s less tension and a greater acceptance.
  5. When things fall apart…wail, cry, scream and then just breathe
  6. I’m not perfect and I don’t have to be…the only person that expects that of me…IS ME!

(What the hell would perfection look like anyway?…We’re always learning always expanding). When has there been a day when we did not learn something new about ourselves or the world in general or about another?

Most importantly, I learnt that we are LOVE. 

In what way can you be love today? Be it…Show it…You may just save someone’s life.

Love is…

beach-193786_150Our instinct is to reach out, to support and to love. I’ve always believed that, yet it can seem today, with all the horrible things occurring in our modern world and how often the needs of others are ignored, that that’s not the case. I have often doubted it myself, chastising myself for being believing this and being so naïve and telling myself to ‘Get real,’ or ‘Grow up.’  

The only time we reject and hurt and decry and break down and slander and try to own others or keep them with us, is when we are afraid within ourselves, it’s out of a desire to maintain OUR comfort. Afraid of how we’ll be seen in comparison or afraid of the unknown because we’ve never navigate this emotional or physical territory before or else afraid we’re getting close to revealing our insecurity or our hidden thoughts about ourselves and we’ll be rejected.

Many of us are prepared to fight to the death to keep up a situation that is miserable because it’s familiar. Even if others who we profess to love, get hurt in the process. If love is showing up in this way, that’s not love.

That’s fear, possession, greed, selfishness, it’s insecurity it’s NEEDINESS

That’s most definitely NOT love.

Love is and will always be a ‘Giving’ emotion. It can take no other form. If it feels any different, then some other desire or need is driving its expression

My newfound friends created a loving space for me to just be.

They did not judge me, they did not question me or quiz me. They simply let me express whatever It was I needed to in that moment. They exhibited pure acceptance and love and in so doing allowed me to love and accept myself that bit more.

The timing was uncanny: And so I had another confirmation of a long-held belief of mine:

Divinity…

  • The universe is divine wisdom.
  • We are a part of that wisdom
  • It works through and for ALL of us

thank-you-140227_640Without the support I received yesterday I truly think I could honestly have been a ‘bit of a basket case!’

The universe knew that when I received my news I would need support and as I live alone it’s rather uncanny isn’t it, that I was on a training programme with exactly the kinds of people I would need to get me through the emotions I experienced.

Synchronicity…Kismet… Co-incidence. Call it what you will. We have all had such incidents in our lives. They’re evidence of the support the universe puts in place when we need it and YES that includes you!

Perhaps it’s a fleeting introduction to or meeting with someone who is doing, being, having a career or lifestyle you have dreams of, perhaps it’s someone who through your interaction creates a feeling of the support, accomplishment, love and happiness you are aching for?

‘When the student is ready the master appears!’

2014-06-22 11.18.54We are given samples, given brief glimpses of what our soul knows is right for us, so that we allow go after it and muster enough courage and self-love to step into what we know in our hearts we truly deserve.

Every moment of our lives we should feel grateful, blessed and In love.

With ourselves, our lives and (if you have a significant other) with our partners and children. If you don’t.

Make the change…

Be vulnerable and brave

Follow your feelings…

Therein lies the source of your happiness.

Blessings and much love

Insightful Angel 

 

 

 

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Change – Overcoming fear, embracing the new

Happy Sunday all

swallowtail-butterfly-329086_150Everything Changes

Today, I’ve thought a lot about change and why it is a state that often causes such fear to rise within us. Everything changes… That’s a given…

Change happens automatically; events, people and situations are in a constant state of flux, yet to so many of us ‘Change’ is a word that often provokes the onset of irrational fear(s) and can be the catalyst for a many of our most deep-seated insecurities to erupt.

But why? Life has taught me that change is, more often than not, the Universe’s way of bringing you into a closer alignment with your truth and ultimately with your Soul’s purpose? Isn’t that what we are ultimately all striving to know? So why resist?

fear-299679_640Please…anything but change!

The idea of changing anything, is for many of us such a powerful fear that we will to induce accident, illness or breakdown to avoid it. Some of us isolate ourselves to the point of paranoia to avoid it, while others are just angry all the time, using our anger as a way of deflecting new ideas or people, opportunities or affections. In this way we cut ourselves off from creating real and powerful connections. At the same time we deepen our ‘Story.’ You know; that one about how no-one appreciates or helps us, or the one about being alone, or the one about how no-one can be trusted; then there’s the other one that says all men/women/teenagers/ lawyers/mothers/…blah blah are all…whatever it is we feel we are justified in bemoaning. Well, hell yeah! If you reject everything, (resist change), and live in fear; sooner or later everything and everyone will get the message and guess what they will… LEAVE YOU THE HELL ALONE!. Ergo…you get exactly what you wished for. NO CHANGE.

cat-245750_640 Fear kills.

The fear of change is powerful, so much so that, for many of us, it kills our natural spirit of adventure and curiosity. It freezes out the wonder and petrifies the hope. I have always wondered why this is… I have, since childhood, been a naturally curious person. I’ve desired and often welcomed change. You could say I was easily bored and so was always investigating and probing. This trait for a child in a rather strict household is not necessarily a good thing! As a young child I was often told that I was ‘nosey,’ ‘knew too much,’ ‘was showing people up,’ (usually from the adults who were unable to answer my questions), or I was, in no uncertain terms, told to simply ‘SHUT UP!’

Impossible? or I’m Possible? street-sign-141396_150

But change has been something I have naturally embraced; some would say to the point of stupidity and that it is this frivolous part of my nature which lead to me never realising my true potential. “Ah ha!!”, but I know better. I have, as I said before, found the prospect of change exciting and still continue to seek new direction if I find myself in a place where I am not developing, not learning and/or not contributing. I constantly try new enterprises and experiences and have found my life being enriched by these experiences, not diminished. For change, to me, offers POSSIBILITY. The idea of change means you get to start again; a ‘DO OVER’ the Americans call it, I think? So why not embrace it? Think about it.

Want, want, want.balloon-104610_640

So many of us simply WANT. We want to:

        • Improve the way we live
        • Have a better body
        • Gain greater financial freedom
        • Improve our health
        • Find the ideal relationship/perfect partner.

The list goes on… balloon-104612_640

Yet so many of us find it hard to take action and instead we simply talk about it. How many people do you know who are constantly desiring a change in some aspect of their lives AND actually get up and DO something about it? balloon-104608_640

Talk is cheap

Talk is easy…Too easy.  eyes-35616_640 As the old adage goes ‘Talk is cheap.’ If you’re a person who knows there’s more to life, more to you and you WILL NOT settle for being less than you know you can be or have the ability to achieve; if you’re a person who, like me, despite errors of judgement, mistakes, trips and slip-ups, feels you have no choice but to keep on trying, ‘keep on keeping on’ because there is nothing else and you WILL NOT stop until you make the life you see so clearly in your mind’s eye a reality: then you, my friend, are a person who has no other option than to embrace change. Nothing was ever conceived of or created without some form of change taking place.

The power to choose, the power to change    direction-255294_150

Change is beautiful. Through change some of our most wonderful insights are received. Through change some of our most memorable moments are created. Through change we learn and in learning we move forward. Let’s take an everyday example; the birth of my children… for each of my amazing children to be born, my body had to change. My stomach swelled, my hormone balance shifted, my hair and nails grew, my weight increased. Oh the wonder of those changes! With every change I experienced a deeper appreciation for my body, a greater understanding of my physiology and a more profound love for the life that I was creating and the body I had been gifted! For any of us to finally have that dream job, life, perfect partner we have to open up to accepting… Accepting the abundance that is waiting to deliver itself to us and CHANGE our thoughts around feelings of unworthiness.

butterfly-108616_150The wonder of change

To have wealth we need to applaud the successes of others. CHANGE our feelings of resentment and congratulate them on their ambition, drive, passion and perseverance. Value their persistence and know that in so doing the same energy which fell into alignment for them is waiting for you to CHANGE your thoughts so it can serve you too. For the perfect relationship we need to CHANGE or feelings of jealousy, be happy for them and smile knowing that their ‘feel good feelings’ and abundant love are proof that such abundance exists. If they can manifest those feelings and affections then so can you. So, the next time you are presented with an opportunity; perhaps a friend introduces you to a life-changing business idea; perhaps you are given the chance to start something noble but small; perhaps they would like you to meet a new person or check out a new group; perhaps you are given the opportunity to serve your community in some way… Rather than reject, consider CHANGE. If you shift your immediate reaction from one of disdain and thoughts of ‘impossible?’ – what could you create; what could happen; how could your life change for the better? Remember “impossible” can also can be written:

“I’m Possible” yes-238378_150

Make your attitude one of openness and give any new idea some thought before you dismiss it. Catch it, look at it. Have you reacted from a place of fear or from a place of considered thought and careful soul-searching? Does this feel exciting? Are you filled with tremors of nervousness? If so, it’s a sure bet you should go right ahead and do the damned thing and that the universe will bring you what you need when you need it. It may just be THE very thing that shifts your life in the direction you want it to go. That very openness is the green light, a signal to the universe that you are ready to receive all the wealth, health and abundance that it has reserved for you. So, for today… CHANGE one (negative) thought, build momentum, CHANGE one habit, CHANGE your life!

Insightful Angel

 

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