Happy Sunday All,
Today we come to the last instalment of what (unintentionally, but happily) has turned out to be a ‘series of posts’ on your PURPOSE and how to find it. In this post I’ll give you an illustration, through my experience of how your soul will keep seeking and reaching for you until you listen. You see, your purpose is always trying to find you because it’s mission is to find it’s expression no matter how long it takes.
All you need to do is listen.
Like water, which always finds a way to seep through and finds its own level, find its way through even the most fortified of defences, through the tiniest of cracks, your soul will find a way for you find your purpose no matter what.
So, if I you’re meant to positively communicate and uplift as your purpose, but are not communicating your purpose positively due to choices that make you unhappy, If you’re not expressing in the way your soul knows you should, you WILL communicate, you WILL express, but may well communicate negatively through criticism and griping and passive aggressive behaviour. All signs of your frustration and unhappiness.
The under side of the coin
Perhaps your purpose is to express love through caring and support, but you’ve made choices that make you feel constrained or trapped, you may still find yourself in a caring role, but resenting it. Perhaps a ‘too young parent,’ whose children are a source of frustration or forced to care for an aged parent or ill partner before you’re ready to. You care for them, but grudgingly so, you care for them but resent it, you care for them and feel trapped. You’re impatient and frustrated and blame them for the loss of your ‘life.’
Perhaps your purpose is to learn how to positively balance wealth and power with love and open communication. You may find yourself, striving and achieving greatly. Amassing great wealth and place within you community & society & your chosen field of work, but your relationships suffer from a lack of authenticity. You’re unable to open up and confide in others due to a fear of being surpassed or being seen as vulnerable. Your colleagues and the people you manage work for you out of sufferance and due only to your title & position, but not out of respect for you as a manager and human being. You are admired for your success yet feel isolated and alone.
You’re still expressing your nature, but not consciously in the form and manner it should take and that’s where your misery lies.
The message in the misery
Your misery is a persistent prod. Like a little devil with a trident, it’s prodding and poking you in the backside and saying ‘Hey you…this isn’t who/what/how you should be. This isn’t how/what you should be doing.’ S/he’s nudging you to pay attention and make the changes necessary to find your bliss. You see when you are expressing in the positive and standing in your purpose its the best feeling in the world. It is bliss!
In my case the universe conspired with my soul which is a persistent little thing and had kept fighting to bring out my authenticity.
One day, I got the message. One day, I finally listened…
I finally decided I was worthy…
Don’t stop believing…hold on to that feeling!
As I grew, my childish belief in my innate gifts stayed on the inside of me and I never stopped dreaming. Though on the outside, in daily my interactions I allowed myself to express only the thoughts and feelings that were ‘allowed’ and acceptable to others for fear of the criticism and ridicule I’d experienced as a child
Serendipity intervened. One day when waiting for a friend to get ready to go out I was singing as usual. here was safe, I wouldn’t be told to ‘shut up,’ or laughed at as I had been so many times when trying out for the school choir or leading roles in the plays, plus she was in the shower down the hall, so probably couldn’t hear me. Or so I thought. She heard me alright and was so impressed by my voice she pressed me to audition for the band she had just joined who needed another singer.
Feel the fear and do it anyway!
Because of the many time this the many time I have felt this in my life, I am convinced that when you feel a great fear, it’s often because you are on the verge of greatness, on the verge of stepping into the ‘you’ you are supposed to be. Like the understudy who finally gets to go on stage after the leading lady has broken her leg, you know that this is your time to shine and it’d better be good. All the expectation and hoping and dreaming has converged at this very moment and it is terrifying as you now have to ‘PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!’
My friend persisted and would not take my excuses or protestations for any kind of answer. My soul shoved me out from behind the curtain and I found myself singing. Singing in front of groups large and small. Finally I was expressing vocally, expressing positively… My purpose is: To uplift others and connect them to the divine within themselves through the use of my voice. It was one small way my soul could touch and taste what it was I am here to do and it was the most delicious flavour!
But I was still scared…The more I sang, the more I knew this was what I wanted to do and be, but the voices of my childhood, the lack of confidence in myself meant I allowed myself to take the ‘road most travelled.’ and I did the acceptable, the conventional.
Once the husband and family came along…then the singing disappeared too! though not without a serious fight to keep it a part of my life.
I had abandoned my dream… and instead adopted a more acceptable one. To go to university to become a professional to have the husband and the big house and the children. I was the clever one wasn’t I? so I should do the ‘right’ thing, the thing that will give me a better life, elevate me from the poverty, make me someone everyone is proud of… I achieved it all.
There was joy in it all, a sense of accomplishment, but there was always a feeling that something was missing. Always a restlessness, that was almost impossible to tame at times. Every so often there was that ‘nip’ the pinch of conscience that feeling that ‘there’s got to be more!’ I am more!
Divine wisdom and divine timing are just that…Divine
In hindsight (always ‘perfect’ vision) I can see the strategy my soul used to get me where I needed to be.
I had forgotten who I was. I had allowed myself to slowly disappear: I had given up my dreams to realism and common sense, my needs to family and my soul was dying…
When the yearning and the questions became so strong they could no longer be suppressed my soul conspired to make me redundant; TWICE! at the same time my marriage fell apart and I was in a tailspin of divorce, emotional recriminations and upset and for some years was reeling from the impact of it all. Desperately trying to regain my equilibrium, but the universe knows what it’s doing.
It placed me in an position where I finally had to decide what I wanted, what I needed and who I needed to be. I decided to work in a way that would fit with the timetable of my children instead of the corporate, fast-paced environment I had been in and so it manoeuvred me into an educational environment. Then it persisted in sending me a message to teach. Over and over and over again, trust me, that was the last thing I would ever have thought of doing! Until I listened and took action.
Becoming a teacher was the easiest thing in the world. Everything happened like a well oiled clock. Another sign that you are on the right path is the lack of resistance and effort.
The search for the rainbow
In this space I have found my voice and a joy I never thought I would experience. Six shows a day in front of the most critical audience ever…Secondary School Pupils! A Tough audience believe me, who have absolutely no qualms when it comes to telling you just how (insert another expletive!) you are!
So you see I was shown my audience after all, but the story doesn’t stop there. Firstly, Eight years on, the restlessness began again and I knew, though I loved teaching it as time to expand once more. I’d served my apprenticeship with the toughest audience in the world, it was time to grow even more. The universe/my soul was sending me subtle messages that my journey was to continue.
I hadn’t reached the end of my rainbow… just yet!
The message is in the repetitions
Then, several of my students, on separate occasions stated that I’d be a good ‘Motivational Speaker’ or ‘Life Coach,’ as I had a habit of telling them of the infinite talent and beauty I see in them, I had them meditating, which they loved and would ask for, I had a habit too of giving them ‘life’ teachings in class and guidance on to how to live their best lives.
Then again… I was supporting a friend who had experienced a relationship break-up. Their comments to me were how helpful I’d been that I should be…you guessed it, a Life Coach.’ They marvelled that I was so supportive, so insightful and said that he would have happily paid for the advice I had given.
And then finally to September 2013 when my attendance at Success 2013 at the Excel arena (London), produced an epiphany…
My destiny is to be a Coach & Speaker…to motivate not just the handful of children in my English classes, but a whole plethora of people…locally… globally. To put the learning that my life experience had taught me out into the world so that others could learn from it. So they could improve their lives, find their purpose.
And yes…to — USE MY VOICE to spread the learning and connect others to the divine within themselves.
It ain’t over till it’s over, if you’re still here…it ain’t over!
When God, the divine, the universe speaks it will repeat the message. LISTEN and TAKE ACTION.
So I listened and now I’m talking to you and you know what, my soul and heart have never been so alive nor have I felt so completely happy. There’s a quiet knowing and I am aware that I have found my calling, my purpose.
Your presence here, reading this post is me sending my voice out to you, so you can learn to appreciate and trust that you have a purpose and that it WILL be revealed to you.
I guess the point I’m making is that you will continue to get the message, whether it be a lesson for your soul’s development or a path for you to follow, you will continue to get the message. It comes via your intuition, through the words of others, the lyrics in a song, a passage in a book and is always accompanied by a feeling… a knowing that somehow that is a message just for YOU. If you’re feeling miserable, stuck, frustrated, ask yourself what messages have I ignored? what has my inner voice been trying to tell me?
Silence is golden
One way to hear the messages of the divine is to practise being silent. It is in silence that GOD speaks to us.
Practise meditation or any other spiritual practise that brings your focus back to yourself.
The voice will become louder the messages stronger. They will strike a chord and resonate with your inner guidance system.
You will hear if you are OPEN…you have to LISTEN!
Through listening you will realise exactly WHY YOU ARE HERE
And that’s when the magic begins!