Happy Sunday All,
Please Excuse me…I hope you’ll forgive my not posting last week, but one week and one day ago one of the most momentous events that I believe can occur in one’s life happened to me.
I became a Grandmother.
It’s been a week of transitions and changes and emotions and insights, which have left me reeling at times and awed at others. Don’t get me wrong, I have been aware of our little angel’s imminent arrival for the last nine months, but nothing and I mean nothing prepared me for the searing almost pathological love that consumed me when she did arrive.
Yes it was a little girl.
Beautiful…perfect and I believe with all my heart she is a gift handed down into the hands of my wonderful daughter and into our family, directly from the Angels themselves.
I have been in the privileged position of working with the next generation for the last ten years. This means I have been able to observe them, to know them and t love them intimately and to learn what we need to do for our children to survive, thrive and contribute.
Those children who have a less than secure, or indeed NO connection to their heritage, their foundation or roots, if they are not sheltered and secure as they grow, they are less able to find the self-esteem and worth required to allow us to teach them and to guide them. They have less self-love and this manifests in destructive behaviours, towards themselves, towards others, or both.
Like the acorns that fall from the Original Oak tree, they need fertile soil so they can begin to burrow their own fragile roots into the soil, they need time to feed and grow; become strong.
The strengthening and growing process is most successful when it takes place in the shade and protection of the branches of the mighty trees, which came before them. They are strong enough; they know the vagaries of the wind, they can read the seasons and know when and how to bend and not break, to store nutrients to survive the droughts and the storms, when to envelop the new sapling in their protective branches so they are not buffeted and destroyed by the elements beyond.
If the older trees fail to do this, if they turn from the sapling and leave it exposed to the vagaries of the seasons before it is ready or able to deal with the searing sun or the biting wind then our poor sapling grows warped and misshapen, unable to grow tall and straight, unable to stand strong.
For our little sapling the wind is harsh, not soothing and the sun is cruel, not nourishing as it was exposed to it too soon. Exposed when it had neither the strength, knowledge, nor experience to anticipate the damage it would suffer to and was left scarred by the meeting; blistered & burnt; limbs broken & weak…
If these ‘elders,’ the mighty strong Oak trees, which stand in the forest before them are loving and caring they will bow and bend, flexible enough to protect our young sapling, they teach it when & how to hide from the searing sun and the biting wind.
The sapling then grows knowing care, knowing love, secure; knowing and feeling protection. Our sapling faces the wind and the sun when it is ready, when it has the knowledge and skills and the strength to do so… the sapling grows straight and strong.
Legacy: defined by the Cambridge dictionary as:
‘Something that is part of your history, or that remains from an earlier time’
I could have had mixed feelings when I think about ‘being from an earlier time,’ but for me this new phase of life; being part of her ‘history’ means the sapling (me) has become a ‘Mighty Oak’ and that ‘legacy,’ the passing on of the history, the sharing of ‘that earlier time’,’ is now my responsibility.
I am responsible for passing on the ‘legacy’ of who we are and who we were, to teach her where she came from, so she is able to navigate where she is going, to strengthen her roots and guide her through the wind and the sun, so she grows strong and straight, enabling her to become the magnificent ‘She’ that she will inevitably be.
I’ve been so moved by this new phase, it got me to wondering about what it means to me and what I hope to pass on to her and so I wrote it down..
I won’t care that you dirty your clothes
As long as I can sit with you on the doorstep in the fading sun, sucking on home-made lemon-ice, chit- chatting about everything and nothing
As long as I can show you how to mine your wonder and find your limitless potential
I won’t care what you do in your work
As long as I can teach you to do what it is your heart aches to do
As long as I can show you how to dream
I won’t care who you love
As long as I can teach you to do so with an open heart
As long as I can show you how to live with passion & fearlessness, always alive, always brave.
I will care when you are hurt by life and love and betrayal, but…
As long as I can teach you how worthy you are
As long as I can show you how to let your pain expand your soul, stay open to life, despite the hurt…you will rise.
I won’t mind (too much) that you sometimes forget to call or visit your ‘Ya Ya’
As long as I can teach you the power of your spirit
As long as I can show you the magnificence and the beauty of the Queens from whom you’re descended & whose fire & determination courses through your veins
I won’t care how many degrees you hold
As long as I can teach you to dance with life and express yourself in JOY
As long as I can show you how to live unrealistically and daringly, show you how to be limitless and carefree, show you how to not care one jot for the opinions of those who seek to restrict you out of their fear.
I won’t care (too much) to leave you…as it’s inevitable that one day I must
As long as long as I can teach you to keep on hoping, teach you to keep on dreaming, teach you you MUST keep wishing; knowing that there will always be a brighter day, knowing that you always deserve to see the sun rise
As long as I can show you how to truly ‘like’ whom you’ve become, look in the mirror and see the beauty in her…
Even when your life feels less than pretty.
I won’t mind that you’ll sometimes forget me
As long as you remember to ‘feel’ life through your grief and despair, as long as you remember the lessons I taught you
As long as you remember the loving kisses I gave you
As long as you remember the pressure of my arms around you
As long as you remember to look yourself in the mirror and see yourself with love and with acceptance.
As long as you remember you’re amazing and perfect
As long as you remember I am your friend
As long as you remember I’m always with you
As long as you remember…
I will ALWAYS…love you
Blissings & Much love