Happy Sunday All,
This year, Valentine’s day falls on the same day as the Chinese New Year, It’s the anniversary of the George Ferris’s 157th birthday, it’s also the day a famous massacre took place in 1929. In 1945, just after midnight the German city of Dresden was bombed and finally the saint after which the festival is named, ST. Valentine, was executed on this day some time around 270 AD according to historical records.
It’s a day when we express our affection with cards, excesses of chocolate, roses, wine and all manner of tokens.
Valentine’s day is a day of romance, declarations of love and gift giving
What is it really?
For many of us, love (romantic love, that is); the affection the care; the companionship, the respect; the support, the shared laughter and the faithfulness that we want in our love relationship seem rather elusive.
As you have come to learn, I am a bit of a ruminator. I think deeply about things and as this day of romance approached I got to thinking…
Thoughts on Love & Romance
Don’t get me wrong I’m a great romantic. I luuurve the idea of us loving one another and I love nothing more than the ‘frisson’ and thrill of meeting someone new and getting to know them. The hope and the expectation that maybe this time we have found someone a person we can hope share our life and experiences with, someone we can laugh with and cuddle up with and ‘be ourselves’ with.
But as I contemplated Valentine’s day and the nature of ‘love.’ I realised that in my life and experience I have learnt that the ‘Valentine’ and Romance movie version of love will remain an elusive and distant dream until we recognise what love and loving really means…
5 benefits of learning to love yourself
We cannot give what we don’t yet have ourselves…
Yet so many of us have so little love for who we are, but at the same time we are desperate to have another love us
To truly find love and a love that lives up to our idea of romantic love, we first need to know how to love ourselves…
- Loving yourself heals every problem you have in life
- Loving yourself makes you happy
- Loving yourself improves your health and well-being
- Loving yourself generates positive energy and that positive energy creates positive experiences.
I have learnt that loving yourself is the pathway to your PEACE & your HAPPINESS – When you love yourself you feel pretty good most of the time and feeling good all the time means you’re pretty happy.
Even when you have challenges, if you love yourself you respect and honour your strengths, you understand that you can overcome because you know how amazing you’ve been and the wonderful qualities you possessed that helped you deal with your previous challenges.
You are enthralled
As you voyage deeper into self-discovery. You gain a deep-seated appreciation for the YOU that you are. You accept the different parts that make you YOU; The foibles and idiosyncrasies, the embarrassments and peculiarities. You celebrate all parts of you and find yourself walking taller, feeling more peaceful and smiling without having a reason to…
You let go…
Of the need to control or define others. Having a deeper love of yourself makes you to realise that your only purpose is to do just that and that your happiness is YOUR responsibility. You therefore begin to accept that you cannot ‘save’ or create happiness in others, that’s THEIR job. Once we ‘get’ this we begin to let go trying controlling circumstances or the emotions of others and more importantly we let go of…
You learn to stop blaming yourself.
Yeah OK, we all have our quirks and habits, our fears and ‘weirdnesses,’ but once you learn to truly love yourself and I mean develop that complete acceptance for who you are in your core; develop the ability to forgive yourself, talk softly and lovingly to yourself as if you would a young child, then you understand that those less than perfect actions you are simply opportunities for you to ‘choose’ again, a lesson in the school of life. You understand that you too are no better or worse than anyone else and that it’s OK to falter or make a mistake, you’re simply learning how to create the ‘you’ you choose to be.
You see once you understand how to LOVE YOU…
Then you are filled up with it.
Full to the brim with it…
It is then, when you know how to love you, when you are so full, that you have more than enough to share and still be full, it is then that you know how to replenish any that you do share and you make it your mission to always replenish your reserves first, that you will you truly understand love’s nature.
In this space you will be able to truly honour and respect and love cherish another enough to share the best of YOU
So from today…
Make it your mission to truly learn how to understand, honour, accept and deeply appreciate all of yourself; without condition.
Learn to do this and you’ll know instinctively how to do so with the one you choose to share your life with and between you you’ll create magic!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Blissings & Much love