Happy Sunday everyone!
This week I ruminate on the last of our most powerful regrets as we die.
It’s a biggie!
I wish I’d been happier
It pains me that so many of us today feel that happiness and how we gain it is such an elusive quality in our lives, as if it’s something that exists outside of ourselves.
The key to being happy, is first to believe you deserve it, to believe and really understand that it is the right of each one of us has the right to happiness in this life of ours.
We are not here to suffer.
We are not here to cry.
As I see it most of us fall into one of several types:
- The one who chases it, believing external recognition or ‘things’ will make them happy
- The one who believes everyone else has it but they don’t and never will
- The one who believes to have it they need to take it from others
- The one who believes the world is ‘agin ’em’
- Then there’s the worst example of all the; ‘The Happiness Vampires: ‘
There are two types:
- They’re the ones who attach themselves to bright, shiny, upbeat, positive people and try to rubbish, criticise, ‘pooh pooh’ and generally throw cold water on their bright, warm positivity bonfire at every turn
- Or else they hang around manipulating them into using their talents to help them (the vampire recognises the food source by instinct. They’re usually ‘giving types’ so they use the energy of the giver, their greater energy and experience to boost themselves, suck them dry and then leave… stepping on their ‘spent’ carcass as they go!
All types are hoping to create one thing…
That you’ll become just like them…
See I’m right!
Their deepest desire is for you to begin to work in the world the way they do, think they way they think and generally agree with them so that they can feel justified in moaning and crying and bitching and simply wallowing, yes wallowing in their particular point of view.
I’m sure we can all bring to mind someone who falls into one or other of these categories, maybe it’s you? If so, the good news is, you didn’t start out that way…you changed and so you can make a choice and change once again.
Conformity, Consensus and Compliance
We all want to ‘fit in.’
We humans are pack animals and need to live in communities and communities by their very nature, need order and conformity to survive.
What most of the types listed are hoping to achieve is a shift in your attitudes and behaviours that mirror their own. This serves then to prove that their choices and attitudes are correct and they can then shout:
‘You see, so and so thinks like I do; I MUST be right!”
From the cradle
The moulding & shaping starts early.
As children we are taught from well-meaning and loving adults that our natural exuberance (too loud), or curiosity (ask too many questions), or need to express our joy (showoff)…
Are just Not Acceptable in certain circumstances.
Over time those circumstances become too many and confusing to mention and then we’re so confused we just give up on being our authentic selves. It seems too hard and causes too much trouble (for others usually!)
Alternatively, we seek attention in negative and destructive ways in an effort to be ‘seen’ and feel worthy.
Adulthood then becomes either an endless search (once we recognise something isn’t right and we’re more than this) to reclaim the lost ‘authentic self,’ or else it becomes a life of quiet and perpetual ‘desperation.’
Living lives that do not serve us.
Living lives that do not thrill us.
Those that embark on the search, in more cases than not, do so in the face of disapproval, criticism or resentment from the wider community. There goes that need to get you to ‘comply’ again!
Yet, we have the means to make ourselves happy all the time, at any time.
Just do YOU
In my experience the more you…
- Follow your heart; you DO know what’s good for YOU
- Listen to your intuition
- Do the things that makes your heart sing, that makes time stands still and puts you in the ‘flow’
- Show Compassion
- Show Gratitude
- Show Love
- Contribute to your Community & Society
- Allow: Vulnerability in yourself and others: Be authentically you and allow others to show you themselves authentically
- Honour your body by eating well and exercising. Appreciate who you are. Accept yourself
- Be Still: Regenerate and recuperate by being Silent and Still at some point every day.
- Recognise your journey is YOURS and yours alone, you have the right and the freedom to Create the path you take
- DO NO HARM: Verbally…Emotionally…Psychologically…Physically
These are the keys to being happy.
It may seem relatively simple, but it is!
As I navigate this journey of mine, I realise that the simpler my life gets the happier I become.
The more I adhere to the list, the more I’m fulfilled and the more joy I feel.
We are here to find our happiness, we are here to find JOY.
Take a look at your life. Which areas of the list could you work on? Start today and make a change. Just start with ONE thing.
Take the step today towards your happiness and make sure that when the time comes for you to leave this earthly plane you have absolutely…