Showing up!

Happy Sunday All,

Showing up!

This week’s been another hum dinger! But one that seemed to have a theme: Showing up…How do you do it?

Breaking up…Making up?

On Friday evening a friend broke up with the man she was dating. No, no, it’s cool, they are of an age now where there’s no need for the screaming and hysteria.

Don’t get me wrong there was still the hurt, the regret and the upset feelings. The self assessment, the why can’t I get this ‘love’ thing right?’  down the phone, some blame too as well as the usual navel gazing.heart-297313_150

I know they’ll both unpack this later and have one or two, or several lightbulb moments, but for now it’s over and they need to learn how to move on in a healthy way.

However, she confessed that during the now common ‘social media’ exchanges; (that’s another thing. I’m old school…what happened to face-to face or the goddamned telephone?) Anyway, I digress!

Who’s to blame?

you-151415_150During their exchanges he mentioned that he suspected she was, like all the women in his experience, ‘flaky’ and that he had been ‘holding back.’

Whether it’s because that’s true or not, or whether that’s his way of masking his hurt and insecurity only time and reflection will tell.

What he said, though brought to mind something I was told years ago; a phrase which had resonated and had always stayed with me. Let me ask you a question…

What percentage of your relationship(s) is your responsibility? 25%? 50% 75%…

The answer is: YOU are 100% responsible for your relationship(s)!

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda!

We all know that the only thing we can control is ourselves; our own thoughts and feelings, our behaviour, but how many of us are in relationships where we insist the ‘other’ ‘should do this,’ ‘could have done that.’ or we critique with ‘I would have done this/that?.’

How many of us are in marriages, romantic relationships, friendships, relationships with colleagues, 2011-06-18 21.07.00siblings, and employers and feel that they are responsible for our lack of complete commitment?

That the things that are going wrong are due to their behaviour?

As a result we feel we are justified in moaning and complaining.

We defend our position and justify our unprofessional attitude, even though we are not fulfilling our duties, not honouring the contracts we signed.

pie-chart-154411_150We coast…offering only 30/60/75% of our talents and our expertise.

We defend our right to be upset even though we can’t remember the last time we volunteered affection, gave a loving  touch or planned a romantic or spontaneous date with our partner.

I’m sure we’d all have something to say if our bosses asked us to accept 30, 60 or 75% of our salary! Yet many of us show up intending to ‘get away with’ less than a 100% contribution.

Are you all in?

How often do we feel aggrieved when we are called out on being less than ‘all in’ only to blame the other party and insist it is their lack of commitment that’s causing the problem?

but how are YOU showing up?

Show them how it’s done!

hands-344759_150If you want a loving, respectful, affectionate partner show them how it’s done.

Are you being the most affectionate partner you can? Or do you give your partner the ‘cold shoulder?’

Are you being the most supportive co-worker and colleague? Or do you isolate yourself?

Are you haughty and look down on colleagues or family, believing you’re superior then play the victim when you’re made aware of your lack of effort?

Are you showing up as the most trustworthy of friends?

It’s all on you

Let’s take the first example… Your partner is not as demonstrative as you would like.

Instead of berating and moaning, why not show up as the affectionate partner you would like him/her to be. Try an alternative approach just this once…

i-105490_150Assume it’s your responsibility. Be affectionate in the way you want your partner to be; wholeheartedly, without condition, without expectation.

Perhaps in being this way you’re more likely to boost their esteem. Make them feel good about themselves, improve their mood and their feelings towards you.  In so doing, perhaps you’ll finally receive the affectionate response you’ve been craving in return?

If you want a more loving, adventurous, spontaneous, partner check yourself first.

Are you being all these things?

Why then is it their responsibility?

The Fear

There’s the rub… Fear!

We fear we’ll be hurt, fear they’re getting more than we are, fear, fear, fear…

That old ‘lack’ mentality shows up again.

madness-227958_150We allow the fear to take hold…then, afraid and desperate we close some part of ourselves off as protection yet somehow expect the ‘other’ to give us their all.

When that’s not forthcoming we become annoyed, we feel rejected and become angry or defensive. Then they, out of their own insecurity and fear hold back to protect themselves too.

The rejection cycle continues, the distance widens and before you know it there’s nothing between you at all…

Yet how can we justify feeling upset when they’re simply mirroring what we are doing?

The result of all this pulling away is two people offering each other so much less than 100%. Yet every one of us deserves 100%

Absolutely!

Always!

How can you hope to possibly create a perfect, nurturing, whole relationship that satisfies both parties when you are offering up so little compared to what you are capable of?heart-142736_150

If my friend’s former ‘beau’ had been holding back, how could he then expect full commitment from her?

If she on some unconscious level, sensed his lack of commitment, isn’t it likely that she’d ‘hold back’ in some way too, equally afraid?

The change you want to see

Don’t get me wrong, I am as guilty of this as anyone, I do not sit here in some lofty place, wagging a finger. Like the rest of humankind, I’m on a journey, a journey that teaches me more and more every day.

We owe it to ourselves, in the next friendship we form, the next relationship we enter into, the next job we take, to show up fully committed regardless of what we think the other is offering.

When you wholeheartedly commit, your reward is in that very commitment.

It is in the commitment that you will experience the very best of who you are and that is reward in itself. The approval of an outside ‘other’ is no longer necessary.

be-the-change

 

 

Mahatma Ghandi said:

 

 

If you want your situation, relationship, job, friendship, in fact any situation which means you communicate with others, to change in some way, the first place to start is to look at yourself…

What are you bringing to the situation or relationship?

Are you truly as committed as you think you are?

Are you ‘all in?’

The next time you feel you need to complain about or blame your partner, your friend, your managers, children, siblings, cat, gerbil or guinea pig for the current state you’re in… consider this:

Who are you being?

How are you showing up?

Blessings & Much love

Insightful Angel

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Why Worry?

Happy Sunday everyone,

Why worry? So much time is spent doing just that, but with what result? Today I’m imparting to you, perhaps the best advice I could give anyone…

For some weeks now I have been experiencing inner peace and a feeling of surety.

A mantra has sung in my head: round and round, day and night and that mantra is this:

‘I feel great, I’m excited ‘Why Worry?’

The Great ‘Lack’ Conspiracy

From the day we’re born we’re dropped into a world and exposed to a universal mindset which proceeds to tell us how awful everyone and everything is.The perpetual dialogue is one which focuses on lack and

The perpetual dialogue is one which focuses on lack and ‘not enoughness:’ 

Not enough food on the planet, competition for jobs, for money, for university places for space on the road, for a seat on the bus, not enough fuel, land, trees, sun…the list goes on and on.

As a result we are in constant competition. Afraid that the next person has ‘more’ than we do, thinking we have to be in a constant state for readiness to ‘compete,’ ‘be better than,’ ‘beat’ or ‘fight’ some ‘other’ or else we’ll somehow disappear in a puff of smoke.

bad-19907_150It’s our constant fear of each other, the ‘lack’ programming that breeds our insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.

It is the ‘lack’ mentality that keeps us fighting one another, blaming ‘this group’ or ‘that group’ for society’s ills. Fearing the ‘mysterious other,’ or ‘THEY’ will be getting more than us, progressing faster than we are, getting a bigger slice of the pie than we have; scrambling for resources because we fear there isn’t enough for us all, so we ‘gotta get ours’ first.

This insidious and divisive thought runs through the core of our society like the lettering on a stick of ‘rock.’ As a result we sacrifice being able to live in a peaceful society where everyone is looked after.

Change your thoughts…change your life!

I was sitting on the sofa earlier in the week contemplating my current situation when I realised that even though I recently decided to change my life completely. To give up the profession of nearly ten years, with no clear plan of what I will step into next, I felt really happy.

I was light. I felt smiley both inside and out. I wondered why.

Why wasn’t I scared? Why wasn’t I worried? Where was the usual panic, the inner voice chastising me, telling me how foolish I was being? I must have lost my mind, Right?

Usually my inner voice is very quick to jump on the misery band wagon. It LOVES to berate, upset and scare me. But not for a while now and that in itself was unnerving.

I was off-balance…

megaphone-150254_150It’s a comforting voice, an ever-present companion, an expectation and though I have spent my lifetime wishing it would stop, when it did It felt very weird.

I soon accepted it…It’s a great relief to live without my inner scold!

I had a realised: I had finally quieted my mind and controlled how

I wanted to think and how I wanted to feel?

I wanted to understand how this shift had taken place. Eventually I realised that there, in this space… the space where I was, I was thinking only good things. This led to me feeling great… as a result everything else in my world looked and felt great too!

Every experience I had on a daily basis was wonderful and I could see only positive lessons and insights (even in the negative events) because of the fact that I felt so great!

My feeling good meant I focused on the good

 The realisation…

flowers-72177_150If I think positive thoughts about myself about others and my surroundings then…

I feel wonderful. If I feel wonderful…

I’m more likely to behave positively towards others. This makes them feel happy, loved, appreciated, supported etc. and between us we create…

A veritable positivity fest!

If I’m positivity in whatever I do and with whoever I come into contact, then everything is and will be wonderful!

If everything is wonderful, then there really is… no need to worry!

You just gotta believelady-36446_150

It occurred to me too that If I indulge in worry, surely I am indicating to myself that I don’t really and truly believe in the new vision of my life I am creating.

After all, if I have faith in myself, truly believe with all my heart and soul that my future is bright, that I will support others to live their best vision of their lives, that being successful is a given, then what is there for me to worry about?

Surely it is inevitable, that with hard work, perseverance, a smile and self-belief I am bound to create the new life I crave; a life of service, a life in which I love going to work, a future in which I feel  joy every day?

In ‘Conversations with God’ Neale Donald Walsche states:

“Worry is pointless. It is wasted mental energy.

It also creates bio-chemical reactions which harm the body,

producing everything from indigestion to coronary heart disease and a multitude of things in between.”

So where did all that worry get you?stickman-310590_150

In today’s society we have visible signs of the effects of excessive worry all around us. Ailments such as chronic fatigue syndrome, sleeplessness, irritability, MS, Irritable bowel syndrome… from the monor to the major, the list of ailments and diseases is endless.

There aren’t many of us today, who do not know someone among our friends or family who are not suffering from one of the ailments on the list. All created due to excessive investment in an activity which cannot and will not alter the outcome of anything.

I occurred to me then, how much time I had wasted over the years indulging in mindless worry. I recalled the despair and the tears when I had no idea how I would feed the children the next day.The frantic despair wondering where and how I would live after my marriage failed. The sheer panic after being made redundant twice (in the same year) with no inkling how I would make a living, how could I re-train in my late thirties?

But you know what. I am here today. I am safe. I have a home, I can eat and as I recalled all those worries I realised that something had always shown up, or I found some way of solving the immediate problem, even if it was only for that one day.

It will all be alright in the end

Some of you at this moment I know are going through challenges.

It maybe a lifestyle challenge, a health challenge, financial or some other issue that is making life seem a little more effort. But remember, it really is about your mindset.attractive-19161_640

Keep in mind, that adopting positive feelings, feelings of hope and knowing that you will come through will lessen the worry.

In this way you are more likely to come through your situation even more quickly, with less stress and ultimately less likely to create ailments and disease in your physical body.

If you’ve seen the film ‘Best Exotic Marigold Hotel you’ll remember this:

“Things will be better in the end. If it’s not better, it’s not the end.”

So if I can offer any lessons from my life, then it would be that no matter what the outcome will be, it will be, so why worry?

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow,

it only saps today of its joy. 

~Leo Buscaglia

Blessings & Much love

Insightful Angel

 

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Happiness and how to achieve it

Happy Sunday everyone!

This week I ruminate on the last of our most powerful regrets as we die.

It’s a biggie!

I wish I’d been happier

fitness-332278_150It pains me that so many of us today feel that happiness and how we gain it is such an elusive quality in our lives, as if it’s something that exists outside of ourselves.

The key to being happy, is first to believe you deserve it, to believe and really understand that it is the right of each one of us has the right to happiness in this life of ours.

We are not here to suffer.

We are not here to cry.

As I see it most of us fall into one of several types:

  • The one who chases it, believing external recognition or ‘things’ will make them happy
  • The one who believes everyone else has it but they don’t and never will
  • The one who believes to have it they need to take it from others
  • The one who believes the world is ‘agin ’em’
  • Then there’s the worst example of all the; ‘The Happiness Vampires: ‘ 

Vampires!dracula-151207_150

 

There are two types:

  1. They’re the ones who attach themselves to bright, shiny, upbeat, positive people and try to rubbish, criticise, ‘pooh pooh’ and generally throw cold water on their bright, warm positivity bonfire at every turn
  2. Or else they hang around manipulating them into using their talents to help them (the vampire recognises the food source by instinct. They’re usually ‘giving types’ so they use the energy of the giver, their greater energy and experience to boost themselves, suck them dry and then leave… stepping on their ‘spent’ carcass as they go!

All types are hoping to create one thing…

That you’ll become just like them…

See I’m right!

Their deepest desire is for you to begin to work in the world the way they do, think they way they think and generally agree with them so that they can feel justified in moaning and crying and bitching and simply wallowing, yes wallowing in their particular point of view.

I’m sure we can all bring to mind someone who falls into one or other of these categories, maybe it’s you? If so, the good news is, you didn’t start out that way…you changed and so you can make a choice and change once again.

honor-guard-67636_150Conformity, Consensus and Compliance

We all want to ‘fit in.’

We humans are pack animals and need to live in communities and communities by their very nature, need order and conformity to survive.

What most of the types listed are hoping to achieve is a shift in your attitudes and behaviours that mirror their own. This serves then to prove that their choices and attitudes are correct and they can then shout:

‘You see, so and so thinks like I do; I MUST be right!”

baby-29483_150From the cradle

The moulding & shaping starts early.

As children we are taught from well-meaning and loving adults that our natural exuberance (too loud), or curiosity (ask too many questions), or need to express our joy (showoff)…

Are just Not Acceptable in certain circumstances.

Over time those circumstances become too many and confusing to mention and then we’re so confused we just give up on being our authentic selves. It seems too hard and causes too much trouble (for others usually!)

Alternatively, we seek attention in negative and destructive ways in an effort to  be ‘seen’ and feel worthy.

Adulthood then becomes either an endless search (once we recognise something isn’t right and we’re more than this) to reclaim the lost ‘authentic self,’ or else it becomes a life of quiet and perpetual ‘desperation.’

Living lives that do not serve us.

Living lives that do not thrill us.

Those that embark on the search, in more cases than not, do so in the face of disapproval, criticism or resentment from the wider community. There goes that need to get you to ‘comply’ again!

Yet, we have the means to make ourselves happy all the time, at any time.

 Just do YOU

index-315754_150

In my experience the more you…

  • Follow your heart; you DO know what’s good for YOU
  • Listen to your intuition
  • Do the things that makes your heart sing, that makes time stands still and puts you in the ‘flow’
  • Show Compassion
  • Show Gratitude 
  • Show Love
  • Contribute to your Community & Society
  • Allow: Vulnerability in yourself and others: Be authentically you and allow others to show you themselves authentically
  • Honour your body by eating well and exercising. Appreciate who you are. Accept yourselfman-65693_150
  • Be Still: Regenerate and recuperate by being Silent and Still at some point every day.
  • Recognise your journey is YOURS and yours alone, you have the right and the freedom to Create the path you take
  • DO NO HARM: Verbally…Emotionally…Psychologically…Physically

These are the keys to being happy.

It may seem relatively simple, but it is!

As I navigate this journey of mine, I realise that the simpler my life gets the happier I become.

The more I adhere to the list, the more I’m fulfilled and the more joy I feel.

We are here to find our happiness, we are here to find JOY.

Take a look at your life. Which areas of the list could you work on? Start today and make a change. Just start with ONE thing.

Take the step today towards your happiness and make sure that when the time comes for you to leave this earthly plane you have absolutely…

NO REGRETS!

Blessings & Love

Insightful Angel

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Who do you choose to be?

Happy Sunday All,

The you you choose to be!

person-110305_150There are moments in life when we are must choose who we are, how we want to show up in the world. This week was one of those for me. It’s been a tough one. You know, one of those weeks when a person you thought you knew, who you held dear and considered an ally and friend reveal themselves to be the opposite. As a result you find yourself questioning every exchange, every smile, every pleasantry, re-playing your encounters, becoming increasingly sad as you realise it was all FAKE! It’s been a week of tests, but a week of illuminations. It’s been a week in which the universe decided in its infinite wisdom, that there were a few truths I was ready to see. I thought I’d share them with you.

True Colours

People usually show who they truly are under two types of circumstance.

Stress or Crisis & Change.

colored-pencils-179167_150Well what a nest of vipers my situation of change and the resulting stress revealed!

Both these contexts have played themselves out for me with some surprising revelations, but they’ve been an opportunity too, I realise for growth.

An opportunity for me to decide how I want to show up in this world.

So on this Sunny Sunday I decided to share my insights.

Insight no. 1zen-178992_150

I have to admit, emotionally I am still feeling a little sensitive. It’s dispiriting when those people you trust, respect and love and who you thought felt the same in return, behave differently towards you.

You haven’t changed.

You have the same love for them.

You have the same enthusiasm for their achievements.

You provide the same support

You have the same respect for your friend; your colleague, yet there’s an unease.

You examine yourself, maybe even blame yourself for the feelings of estrangement, but closer inspection reveals that it’s their attitude towards YOU that has changed.

Even closer inspection reveals that they have attempted to poison others towards you, call you out, blame you for things beyond your control. To effectively ‘bring you down.’

“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.” 
― Maya Angelou

Ms Angelou was so on the money when she penned this quotation and this week I realise how right she was.

Well, the true nature of someone I held dear, someone I thought of as ‘friend’ was revealed to me this week and I for one, intend to believe them.

So Sad

There were moments of deep, deep sadness as I learnt just now much this person, who’s every word had been one of admiration and respect and whose every deed had seemingly been one of support, was in reality resentful and I hate to say it, but perhaps jealousy played a part in there too.sad-girl-236769_150 This revelation came during a crisis; when the pressure was on… Instead of ‘baton-ing down the hatches,’ ‘rolling up their sleeves’ and supporting the wider group, they chose instead to point fingers, blame, complain and create dissent. Fortunately for me, there are others I hold dear who obviously felt this was unacceptable, who work from a stronger moral core and instead of colluding in their venomous behaviour they realised the poison for what it was and rejected it and them. They now find themselves ‘outside the circle of trust.’

zen-178992_150

Insight no. 2

“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.” 

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.”

― Maya Angelou

Let me get to the point of this post.

After the truth came out (because in my experience ‘the truth will always out’) I realised I had two choices.

As Maya said.

I could be a pain, just like them and respond negatively.

I could have challenged them,

I could have let them know that I know ‘where they live.’

But instead I took a breath…

I opened my heart…

I did nothing…

I tend to do nothing when I don’t know instinctively what action to take. Eventually I get a sense of the right thing to do.

In that breath, in the opening up, It became clear to me that reacting and behaving as they were doing would only prolong MY OWN misery and upset over the situation.

There’d be the examining of the ‘why’s’ and the ‘wherefores,’ there would be denials and accusations that couldn’t be proven.

There would be resentment and upset,

There would be tension and others being drawn in to support this and that person’s point of view.

In the silence, It came to me what I had to do…

I decided it wasn’t worth the pain.

I decided I didn’t have to be a pain because I was in pain.

You see, when we suffer the sharp ‘sting’ of betrayal or any other form of upset at the hands of another we have a choice.

We can choose to wallow, bemoan and wail about the injustice of it all, but surely this is prolonging the agony? OR we can simply be still and let the ‘right’ thing to do, the course of action that will be best for all concerned be revealed to us and make a ‘conscious choice.’

The road less travelledsunlight-166733_150

There’s no denying their actions were wrong, There’s no denying it ‘hurts like hell!’ But before you act out of your ‘pain’ consider if the course of action you’re considering will:

1. Ease your pain or prolong it?

2. Cause pain to others?

3. Make you feel good about who you’re choosing to be?

4. Make you feel proud of your actions and yourself as a result?

If the answer is ‘no’ to any of them, then you know you have no option but to take the ‘road less travelled.’

Yes it’s the more mature option.

Yes it’s a challenge, but in the long run you will know that you have nothing to reproach yourself for.

You will have ‘Peace of mind!’

In every moment we have a choice.

In every moment we create ourselves anew

Who do you choose to be? How do you choose to be remembered?

I’ll leave you today with another of the wonderful Maya’s quotations:

Watch your words

Blessings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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Friends & Friendship – a Special Love

friendship-63743_150Happy Sunday all

Acquiring friends and developing lasting friendships are perhaps two of the most emotionally satisfying things we create in our lives. As we journey through life, learning and developing, it’s our friends that are the marrow in our bones, feeding us, supporting us, keeping us strong so we become all that we could ever imagine.

Our friends:arm-wrestling-176645_150

  • See the vision for who we could be before we are able to recognise it in ourselves.
  • Drop everything to be by our side at the slightest hint of upset or trouble.
  • Love us through the hard times
  • Are loyal to us
  • Are not afraid to tell us we’re wrong
  • Believe in us
  • Make us laugh
  • Know when to leave us alone
  • Respect us
  • Always want the best for us
  • Celebrate our successes
  • Trust us
  • Our friends Love us

For exactly who we are…

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses…

Yet, I’m sure many of you reading this now, have a friend or two maybe, that you’ve let disappear from your lives. I’m sure most of us have at least one friend that we wish we’d kept in touch with? Perhaps your excuse was the distance, or they’ve changed or we no longer have the same things in common.

What ever the excuse, that’s just what it is; an excuse!

The regret, that comes in at number four (on our list of five) when we find ourselves at the point of leaving this earthly plane is:

  • “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends…”

FriendsMy mother always said: “you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.”

Meaning, that your friends are the family YOU create.

They display the behaviours, talents and attitudes you would prefer to see in your life and in the world.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case with family.

Are we not here to self-create?

Are we not here to live lives that are an ‘authentic’ expressions of who we ‘choose’ to be?

So, if a family member is making choices and creating a life imbued with attitudes and behaviours that we refute, are we not entitled to keep them at arm’s length, as we would anyone else whose values we do not share?

However I digress. Back to friendship.

love-115878_150Love yourself first

When it comes to friendships, I can say wholeheartedly, I have learnt that they will never be satisfying unless you are friends with YOURSELF first. I’ll give you an example:

Let’s say you’ve something you want to bring into your life. Your friend has been supportive in your attempts to achieve/acquire this quality or gift, they believe in you and think you deserve the best that life has to offer and they tell you this often. Yet somehow you are not able to attain what it is you’re striving for.

Is the inability to feel deserving the issue?

Are you being as good a friend to yourself as your friend is to you and you are to them?

In order to accept the beauty inherent in our friendships, we need to be able to accept the beauty within ourselves. See yourself through your friends eyes.

Those that know me know one of my mottos is:

‘Like attracts like…’

So try to ignore the doubting voice within, the negative tape on a loop that endlessly plays through your list of ‘could be betters.’

Accept that the wonderful qualities you see in your friends are a mirror of the qualities, and the beauty, captured within the soul in YOU.

a-flower-for-you-173549_150Be willing to receive

Practise being a good friend, by being a friend to yourself first.

Be willing to give to yourself.

Be willing to receive.

If you cannot display the qualities of friendship that you appreciate in others in your own reflections of yourself then, regardless of how many friends you have, life will feel lonely and you will always find a reason to justify the non-appearance of whatever it is you’re looking for in life.

girls-344334_150Be the friend you want to see

Being a friend means you swear an oath. An oath to be someone your friend can trust. It means keeping your word and being there when you say you will. The best way to have and keep good friends is to be one.

Keep your promises.

We all know that there are times when things show up, when you have to change a plan, but you need to be dependable. No-one likes a flake! If ‘ducking out’ and ‘letting down’ become regular habits, your friend is unable to depend on you. You are a ‘fair weather friend.’ there when times are good, but noticeably absent when they need you most. Being this way means you are eroding their trust and eventually they’ll stop believing what you say.

pinky-swear-329329_150Be honest

Being honest about how you feel opens up direct lines of communication with your friends and will make them more likely to open up to you. If your friend has upset you in some way, don’t feel too shy to open up to your friend about it.

Being honest is not about being brutal and so blunt that you hurt them. If you think your friend has a problem for example, perhaps drink or any other problem which has the potential to destroy their lives, then you owe it to your friend to start a conversation about it.

But if you think your friend looks kind of weird in her new dress, assess the situation, you know your friend and in this instance you may want to keep your mouth shut. Especially if s/he feels they look amazing.

Why not leave them with that feeling and not shoot them down dampening their spirit?

Be Real 

Connect with the people you value on a deep level if you want to have long-term friendships that you can sustain through life’s ups and downs. Invest in people you can be yourself around. If the way you behave is insincere, your friendships won’t last.

Be Loyalkid-165253_150

If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep it and don’t talk about it with anyone else, just as you’d expect your friend to do for you. Never say anything about your friend that you would not be prepared to say to them face-to-face and be ready to defend them if other friends or people you barely know, gossip about them.

  • Part of being loyal is understanding how important a long-lasting and stable friendship is. Don’t throw all that away just to spend all your time hanging out with your new boyfriend or girlfriend or a cool new person you just met.

Be Selfless

IMG_0098Being selfless is an important part of being a good friend. Though you can’t be selfless all the time accommodating your friend’s wishes when you can, will strengthen you relationship. Reciprocate his or her acts of kindness with caring deeds of your own.

  • Do a favour for your friend just out of the goodness of your heart, not because you want something in return.

I’m sure you’re getting the picture. There are many more things I could say about friendships and how to foster secure heartfelt ones as well as how to maintain them. However, this post would become impossibly long if I continued.

heart-63974_150That rare gift

Suffice to say, that our friendships are our lifeblood, so it’s no surprise that the loss of our friends, especially when we know we could have done more to stay in touch, features high as one of our biggest regrets when we depart.

“Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it.”

Anaïs Nin

So, let’s heed the wise words of Anaïs.

Let your friends know how much they mean to you.

Be the best friend you can be 

Stay in touch.

No regrets!

Blessings & Much love

Insightful Angel 

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