Happy Sunday everyone, For the next five weeks I’ll be examining the 5 biggest regrets people make on their deathbed.
The big five
These five regrets are namely:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not one others EXPECTED of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked SO hard
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
- I wish I’d been happier
Oh my!…How distressing
Today I will examine number one which is the regret of not having the courage to live a life true to yourself
The good news is, the palliative care nurse that shared this information has given us a magnificent gift. How amazing to know NOW, in THIS VERY MOMENT how to avoid the potential feelings of regret as our souls transition. How amazing it is to have been given the OPPORTUNITY to change the course of our lives and know that we are ready to leave this world happy and fulfilled having:
- Given of our best,
- Been our best selves
- Served humanity and as a result
- Received the best that life has to offer.
Today’s the day
If we heed the warning TODAY, and I mean TODAY! Let’s not procrastinate any longer, the result will be that ALL who take up the challenge will live lives that are abundant, lives in which you feel completely realised as whole and complete. You will step into your greatness.
You will finally enjoy living a fulfilled life, one which is joyous, balanced and fearless; a Life which on reflection will make you to shout a resounding ‘NO REGRETS.’
You will have lived, A Life true to yourself
But, what exactly is that?
Many of us spend our whole life, struggling to find who we are, what it is we want and name what that is. Many of us, reach well in to middle age and still don’t know ‘What it is we want to do and be when we grow up.’
Or else ~
Like me and you may resonate with this one: We knew, deep, deep down, many eons ago, perhaps as far back as 2 or 3 years of age or 6 or 7, exactly what we wanted to do, who we wanted to be…but when we put it out there we had our dreams ridiculed, and laughed at or else scolded for even daring to think such nonsense.
Whatever the reaction was, as we grew older, as we met the world at large and more messages of ‘just do; the right thing,’ be ‘like everyone else,’ average, grey.
The message that told us to ‘fit in.’
‘Not shine too brightly,
‘Not show up the inadequacies of others by being as shiny as our own bright star was capable.
Our dreams shrank and so did we…
Dream stealers and energy vampires
“Well, son there’s not much call for cowboys these days…”
“Magic doesn’t pay that well…”
“How can you be successful as a baker? and it’s really warm with all those ovens…”
Or Maybe, like me…you were simply laughed at…
Or received an angry response: ‘Who do you think you are?’
Many of us received the following responses:
“You’re good at English/Maths/Science, why not become a Teacher/Accountant/Doctor. It’s a good profession and you’ll have a good income and a better life than we had.”
“You need to go to work…we cant afford to send you to Drama/Circus/Dance school.”
I have no doubt they discouraged us because they had the best of intentions, however, they are invariably the phrases passed down from Aunts, Uncles, Elder sisters & brothers. Many of our care givers repeat these warnings because of their own fear or simply for something to say.
Whatever the message was, we believed it.
We echoed it and increased it’s power, OR we stuffed it down into the already bulging sack of ‘rubbish’ which holds similar messages from other caregivers, mentors, teachers and significant adults who influenced our formative years and convinced ourselves we didn’t deserve to EVER take that out and look at it again!
We accepted, what they said was true and that ‘LIFE’S JUST NOT LIKE THAT!’ instead we resigned ourselves to being ‘sensible’ and ‘realistic.’
Once the three-year-old you met resistance from a significant adult it’s game over! It’s far too great a challenge to expect a 3, 4, 5 year-old to stand firm, take the bit between their teeth and insist that they are able to assert their right to be their authentic self.
So, we made a decision…an unconscious one.
We decided that the feeling of perfection, of being so expanded and happy, so exhilarated, the feeling that you CAN do anything; the feeling that
Being on horseback,
Creating yummy smelling rolls,
Acting the clown
Performing created within you, was a fleeting, transitory emotion that we could only expect to experience on a couple of occasions in a lifetime!
We decided, unconsciously you understand, that life was more passive & unimaginative, that no-one feels like that ALL the time, that you were not special enough to feel that way all the time.
After all no-one we know does these things,
To feel happy, content and fulfilled … is the exception. Isn’t it?
In the depths of your soul, you know don’t you?
You know you’ve been sold a massive lie.
That somehow…you betrayed yourself.
You’re an adult now. The biggest thing stopping you, is not the people around you it is…
You guessed it!
F E A R
What we fail to recognise is that they’re not RIGHT they’re just AFRAID;
Afraid to follow your passion.
Afraid you’ll fail,
Afraid you’ll look silly,
Afraid of what others might say,
Afraid you’ll be unable to survive,
Afraid to be different,
Afraid, Afraid, Afraid!
My hope is that today, this blog will get you thinking and I will help you realise one thing.
You have a choice…
Right here, NOW.
You have the right, the option, to choose differently, to not be the next person who at the point of leaving this world says:
‘I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself.’
So if you give yourself one gift this year, let it be the gift of YOURSELF to YOURSELF…
Revisit your passions:
What were the things you’ve experienced, achieved, completed that gave you that feeling of expansion, a feeling that everything is/was perfect, of exhilaration.
A simple feeling of joy?
Is there room to re-introduce it/them into your life?
As you’ve evolved, have you discovered a new passion and how can you make that your life’s work?
‘Success’ only comes before ‘work’ in the dictionary
My experience of changing my life, living with my joy every day and being a more successful ‘me,’ has taught me that,
Yes it will be work,
Yes there will be challenges,
But guess what?
When you step into your passion you connect with your greatness EVERY SINGLE DAY.
You’re in joy EVERY SINGLE DAY,
you look forward to the work you do.
You WANT to do it, not HAVE to do it.
Aren’t we all familiar with the phrase ‘I have to go to work?’
Even your challenges become joyous because you know that like a diamond, these challenges are simply polishing you up.
Polishing you up, so you become your, shining, brilliant, best self; sparkling on every facet and reflecting the glory of the universe back to yourself and to us all.
The saddest and most painful words ever uttered are:
Blessings and Love